I Apologize and eat a good dose of my own crow....

I don't have much time tonight, but I would really like to take a moment to apologize for my extreme negativity and judgement yesterday.

I often explain on this very blog how much I hate excessive negativity and how I don't like to be judged, well, I am human and I do make mistakes. And I made a huge one yesterday.

I am truly sorry for my thoughts and actions and words posted, I will try better next time.

My mother, the one I often judge the most, is without a doubt my greatest blessing and I have absolutely NO right to judge her or belittle her. Without her, I would not be alive or half of the person I am-good or bad. She is my friend, teacher confidant, and everything....I'm going to really work on not judging her so much, even though we are all entitled to our opinions and it's great that I can share them! Although, it's like she herself always said "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Good advice mom, especially when it comes to you! I love you carebear! Really, I do!

I feel so bad that I did, especially on here. Granted, we all judge at one time or another, but as I read what I wrote yesterday, I am reminded that "when you judge someone, you have no room to love them." And I don't want to be that person,

I love my mother, my life and the people in it so very, very much-I really do! Also, I am sorry for not accepting others my whole life; I think one reason people don't acecpt me is because I don't really accept them.....now I will try.

I apologize for expecting everyone else to conform to my ideas, my ways and my lifestyle.

I am not perfect, and one of my greatest fualts is my lack of acceptence of others. My boyfriend, sweet, wonderful Hugh, called me on it last night when I lit into him as well.....

It just hit me like a brick. I began to cry and feel about as low as the dirt on the ground, but it wasn't his fault, one the greatest things about our relationship (and any loving wonderful relationship) is that we can call each other on our faults, and God KNOWS I usually call ANYONE on their faults-especially my dear boyfriend and mother. I guess those we love the most, hurt us the most, and vice-versa....

So, I'm going to try AGAIN, (I was doing so good for a few months) to withhold judgement, to not judge people so much, especially those I very dearly love. And, I apologize for expecting everyone to conform to my way of life, my lifestyle and my beliefs.

While I think it's a wonderful trait to be so steadfast and passionate about my beliefs, my lifestyle and my way of thinking...it becomes a bad thing when I outright EXPECT, DEMAND and try to FORCE those passionate beliefs and lifestyles on others.

So, for a final time, I'll try again tomrorow, as I tried again today. And, I apologize.

While life is too short to feel guilty, and God is all loving and all forgiving, I do NOT want to be a judgemental, non-compassionate, irriating, arrogant, self-imposing bitch. That's just not who I aspire to be, and I think we all know that.

So, as Keith Urban said in the current Country Weekly Issue (great magazine for country music lovers like myself-my favorite!)

"Each day, you either get better, or you get worse."

I personally choose to get BETTER, although yesterday I think I might've taken a step back and gotten a bit worse...thankfully I caught it and digressed today.

So, thanks Kieth for the great advice, and thanks even more so to my sweetheart honey Hugh for loving me enough, unconditionally, and having no fear to call me on my faults! I love you babe! Goodnight Y'all and....as always,

Many Blessings,
SL