Godspeed to New Orleans

Okay, today I am ready to write. I finally got some sleep but today, I am deeply saddened. Hurricane Katrina hit last week and it is now mass devastation, mass chaos and mass confusion. The hardest part hit was Mississippi around Biloxi, and the beloved and extremely historical, New Orleans. Yes, New Orleans is under water, and wiped out. Today, there are looders; people stealing and screaming and yelling. People not so much stealing because they want to get away with free stuff, but stealing rather because they have no absolutely no other way to feed their families. Stealing because, with everything they ever knew, owned or loved, gone and useless; what else is there to do, and what other choice do they have? Stealing because 30% of N.O. is under poverty level, and live paycheck to paycheck. And those who don't, the banks are under water so where are you gonna get the money. This is teaching me to plan, and SAVE for that emergency. It's so diffuclt, this is going to affect our economy so incredibly much I don't even know yet. EVERYTHING, espcially gas and food, will go up in price, and these people who worked and lived in these places-they have no place of work or home to return to.

The question now is: why weren't we prepared for this? Why isn't our Government shelling otu every freaking spare penny to assist this? Why wasn't the Administration on this at first glance? This is like the Great Depression or, this might be worse than a terroist attack, b/c those we plan for. We know those could happen. We never thought this could happen naturally. These are American Refugees, it looks like something you see on the World News, but in OTHER countries-not mine. The poverty, chaos, damage, confusion, sitting ducks-it's so foriegn.

My question is: where is the world? During the Tsunami relief, the U.S. stepped up and donated millions of dollars to help that relief effort? If this were to happen elsewhre in the world, the U.S. would help, so where is OUR help?

There's so much I don't understand about this and so much that saddens me and angers me and hurts me. I try to turn it off and not listen, but it's still horrible.

SO MUCH HISTORY is, or was, in New Orleans. So much culture and festivity and great people and great food....and gone.

Not to mention Mississippi.

This is really teaching me, and others hopefully, to REALLY be grateful for all that we have. To be fortunate enough to have a job to go to, know where our families are; have a car to fill up even though filling it up is so damn expensive. It's teaching all of us the shrude importance of saving for that emergency, whatever it may be, and the importance of Insurance-home, car, flood, life. ALL of it, SO important!

I was fortunate enough to visit New Orleans in 1994, when I was ten years old. It was in April, shortly before my back surgery, right before Grandpa Frank died and before my parents, Linda and Jim, divorced. As I sat and thought about that trip the other night, it dawned on me that that was the last time I was truly happy and carefee, until about March of this year. Which means for 11 years I was angry, unhappy, disastisfied and poor in spirit. I'm ashamed to say that, and I did live a lot of those 11 years to their fullest, but alot of those years I did not.....

I am so blessed. I have this beautiful apartment, car, bed, clothes, food, water, mama, cat, the quilts my grama made me for me, photos, mementos; all things we so often take for granted. While I do pride myself on being an extremely grateful person who gives thanks everday, this HK has made me appreciate all that I have even more.

I cannot imagine what those people are going through right now. Losing their homes, cars, businesses, places of work, pets, even some family. To lose everything you've ever loved and known; how incredibly sad. I can't even fathom that. I've been through so very much in my life, but fortunately, nothing compared to this. No matter how bad things have gotten for me, I've always had a home, bed, mom, things, etc. There are nearly a million or more people absolutely homeless. There are people down there who have missing relatives floating somehwere in the water. 80% of New Orleans is under water and gone.

I don't think anything has affected me this deeply and profoundly since 9/11/2001. I am in complete shock and devastation, and it's not even happening to me, personally.

I can't help but feel compassion and empathy for those affected.

We can sit here and say that things are just things and at least you're alive. But the truth is, they're not just things. They're our livelyhood. There are things that can't be replaced; photos, quilts that are handmade and passed down, the knife that my 3rd great grandma used and handed down; photographs of my childhod, family, sisters, my Minnie Mouse Doll- those ALL CANNOT BE REPLACED. Sure, it's better than losing lives, but it's just as devastating.

As I watch the news, violence in N.O. is increasing. People are who living on their rooftops, water with soer in it, water with aligators and snakes in it, peopple making rafts out of their front doors and air mattreses they managed to grab. People being rescued off of rooftops and some even drowning. There's no food, no drinkable water, all the stores are flooded as well and not in working service order. People are hot and tired and hungry and helpless. It gives me goosebumps.

This is like looking at a movie; masses and masses of people standing on floating rooftops, and trying to wade and swim through dirty, toxic and poisinus waters. Families not knowing where other families are. People sitting on streets and waiting in line at hospitals who have NOTHING but the clothes on their backs-litreally, NOTHING. And, nothing to do. People are are yelling and screaming and fighting out of survival, fear, sadness, anger, frustration-it's absolutely horrible and that isn't even a start to describe it.

They said on the news that N.O. might be unihabitable for up to ten years because of the soer leekage. One National Gardsmen said he'd rather be in Iraq b/c at least over there they have communication, food, water, and a plan; right now, in N.O. there's really nothing like-NO PLAN, and MASS CHAOS.

It's difficult for me to think about because it's a place I so loved. To see the natives there watch their hometown and way of life just sink-I'm glad I'm not one of them. I always wanted to return to New Orleans and aside from the trip I took up to Oregon this summer, my trip to N.O. was the greatest vacation of my life. It was the last time I was happy and carefree and young and innocent and it's before EVERYTHING in my life (although in comparrison, just my family and back) fell apart.

I remember eating in the French Quater; going out on the Riverboats, listening to blues and jazz and eating benyays. Walking up and down the streets seeing all the shops, smelling and eating the cajun food. My mom getting so sick on fried dough, she threw up off a pier into the lake that is now flooding the city. I remember we took a horse and buggy ride through the city, like a real white horse and carriage buggy with a driver and a red velvet seat. It's completely and totally awesome. The people were so freindly and the place was absolutely rich in culture.

I can't believe it's gone.

It's like a tiny bit of my past is gone as well.

I really think that this is God's way of weeding us out. I think there's too many people on this Earth and Mother Nature is quite pissed off.

That being said,

I hope and pray that those who did survive, have not lost all hope or faith.

I hope and pray that those who have lost family members, find them, even if they find them dead-at lesat they'll know.

I hope and pray that the people who really NEED To get out, do.

I hope that no one else has to die because of hunger, starvation, or thirst.

I hope and pray that peole will allow this tragedy to unite them and bring them together, instead of divide them.

I hope that thsoe who did die, went quickly, and those who will die, go quickly and painlessly as possible.

I hope and pray that EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN will donate AT LEAST $5. I donated $10 to America's Second Harvest.

I hope and pray that the babies that are in mommy's tummy's and have yet to be born, can and will wait to be born, and when they are, they'll be healthy, happy, fed, warm, clothed and in a better place.

I hope and pray that those who did loose everything and more, let this experience unite them as nothing else can, ever has, or ever will. Because as much as I can empathize and pray, I do NOT know, and only those who have experienced know. I hope they remember that and honor their connection, their bond, their understanding-and honor eachother.

I hope that humanity and Americans are enriched and strengthened by this horrible tragedy.

And most of all, I hope and pray that there is hope, love, peace and positivity around all of those affected.

I really have no other words right now, for the first time in a long time, I'm speechless. Besides, there's really nothing I can say to describe this, to convey it or give it any more ugliness than it is.

So, for now, I will go, and I will write again soon.

Many Blessings,
-SL