2008: Struggles, Friends & True Happiness!!!

In my last few entries I've spoken about how difficult this year has been for me, personally. But I also spoke about how it's not been that horrible compared to the year that others have had. And I must say, tonight, as I was watching "Dateline," my heart broke for the thousands of people who were wrongly evicted from their homes this year.

The people who were evicted because of the economy's downturn, lost jobs and screwy mortage companies with no rules/guidelines or concious! I thought about the people who lost their homes this year due to natural disasters; floods, mudslides, earthquakes, fires, etc. I thought about people who lost their homes because they lost their jobs (as I said before) or had to choose between a home and medicine. I thought about the families that we forced to put aside their differences (which could be a good thing) and live together. I thought about the million (literally) people who claimed bankruptcy this year and how horrible that must've been for them.

I thought about the people who were defaulted not only on their home loans, but car loans, medical bills and overall spirit. And in truth, how could someone not be defaulted in spirit after all of that? I certainly would be. I'm a positive, gracious person, or so I like to think, but, let's face it, this has been a tough year for pretty much everyone, all the way around. And then I think of my family & friends. And again, in comparison, although personally difficut, my year was not that bad.

I've watched some of my own members of my family come close to losing their homes. I've watched friends be cheated on, left, reach the brink of divorce and turn back. I've watched friends fight like hell to save their marriages and their sanity. And sadly, I've also watched friends of mine divorce this year. I've watched my already hard-working mother, Uncle & Aunt have to take on additional jobs (2--3) in their 50s & 60s just to make ends meet.

I've watched friends of mine lose their parents or other loved ones, and I've watched them sit by and pray for their loved ones because that's all they can do in the midst of sickness and chaos. I've watched friends face their own physical illnesses and endure great and challenging changes in their own lives.

I've watched friends deal with unintended events, such as car accidents, homelessness, addicition and even a pregnancy. And most beautiful of all, I've seen all of this, ach one of them rise to the occasion with bravery and strength! I've watched friends of mine make absolutely courageous decisions in their own lives, such as moving on, opening their hearts, ending situations that they know are not healthy for them, and struggle with the day-to-day-ness of everyday life. And I've been absolutely inspired!

In reality, compared to our ancestors, our lives, at least physically speaking, are pretty damn easy. We're not beating our clothes on rocks, we're not washing a mountain of dishes in a river, we're not hauling all our possesions in a covered wagon across a dry and heated desert, or cold and wet mountain top. We're not rising with the sun and setting with the moon, farming the land, plowing the field and physically milking the cows. (Yes, I know, there are still people who farm, and thank God for them, we literally would starve without them, but in a literal sense, things, even farming, are done in more technologically advanced ways today than they were 50--100 years ago!) We're not having to physically build our homes, or even fix our own cars. God Bless those that do it for us too! But, my point is, I know that my own life, comparitively speaking, is relatively easy.

I know that each of us has had our own struggles this year, and battled our crap in our own special way. I know that I am incredibly fortunate to have such strong and wonderful people in my life, who remind me that strength, hope, love and courage isn't about neglecting or denying the hard stuff, it's about embracing it head on, with hope and every bit of strength you can possibly muster up.

My friends and family inspire me and this world inspires me. It's crazy, it's nuts, it's insanely odd and wierd and wacky and wonderful, all at the very same time.

So, whatever battle it is that you had to fight this year. Whatever hurdle you faced and struggle you overcame, or perhaps, even for the ones that are just begining, I wish you love and courage and strength. I wish you the kind of faith I have, the friends and family I am fortunate enough to know, and the incredible peace of whatever makes you happiest!

Even if for only a moment! Because as the saying goes, happiness is not a destination, it is a journey. It is not about finding the right person, the right job, the right house, the right car, or the right anything; it's about finding little moments of happiness, and stringing them together. It's about taking joy in the simplest of things and littlest moments. And if/when you're fortunate enough to find that right person, job, house, car or whatever the case may be, they only ADD to your happiness, but not "complete" it. There are definately ones we cannot imagine living without, and ones we certainly wouldn't want to live without. But, still, even in someone or something's absence (person, place, thing, house, car, job, mate, etc), happiness is still possible! But we have to create it for ourselves, and recognize it when it comes! Because the truth is, it's all around us. (Sure, so is the darkness, depression and negativity). The decision to grasp on to the first is within. The decision to be happy; not every single waking moment, not overly joyous and underly aware, but the decision to find little moments of joy and happiness; in a child's laughter, a lover's embrace, a delicious food or cup of coffeee, a beautiful sunset, a warm bed to get into at night, a hot shower, a cold swimming pool in summer; whatever the case may be. Grab that little token of happiness and run with it! Because life isn't fair, and it doesn't make sense. It's short and complicated and overrun with plenty of crap and sheer beauty that are perfectly intertwined; we couldn't have one without the other and probably wouldn't know what to do with it anyway! And there's certainly plenty to be not be happy about. But it is up to us! We have to take what makes us happy, in bits and pieces and make it our own. We have to be thankful for what we have, and what we've been given. We have to focus on what we do have, instead of waht we don't. We have to make our own happiness in this life! And what makes me happiest is when I watch others being happy themselves. When I watch my friends, and family, struggle with their own stuff (not their struggling, per se, I dislike seeing that of course) and rise above it. When I watch them and their strength, their courage and their love; when I see it flowing through them and from them and around them! When I see them take a moment to be there for little ole me, when I see them post a picture of their family and friends, or snowfall or a party! I take tremendous happiness in the happiness of others!

And perhaps, 2008 wasn't the happiest year for most of us, perhaps, it was even one of the most difficult, in a multitude of ways...but, I can honestly say that as it comes to an end, I am grateful for it. I am grateful for its lessons, its beauty and its ultimate happiness!

Thank you to my friends and family who inspired me, helped me and loved me through it all! You each add an element of happiness to my life and I cannot imagine it without any of you! Here's to a healthy, peaceful and incredibly Happy 2009!!! Thank you, Lord, for it all!

Merry Christmas everyone, and once again, a sincerely Happy New Year!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)