A Little Bit Of Everything...

18 months: live--in boyfriend...17: months: fiancee'.....5 days: husband

Here we go....it is now officially my/our WEDDING WEEK! And we are excited, and stressed and happy and EXCITED! As for me personally...well.....I'm a little bit of everything...so forgive me if I sound repetitive in this entry...I've got A LOT on my mind!

So like I said, it's officially my wedding week and I honestly have no clue how this week will go....wonderful, happy, terrific, amazing, I'm SURE! I'm SO excited, and SO stressed and SO blessed and a little bit of everything else in between! This truly is one of THE most stressful events of your life, for sure, and of mine too! It is maddening at times, crazy at most of the time and humbling all of the time! Please God, No Bridezilla for me! Whew, Lord no! Kindness, honesty and gratitude! It's all about attitude--and mine is contagious...everyone is looking at me this week....watching me, thinking about me, helping me. All eyes are on me (and Colin) and us, and that's a little nerve wracking and stressful, I won't lie. Right now, my oldest, younger sister is currently on a plane to see me, and Colin! Her first time ever on a plane--she's so brave! She's coming to me directly so we can spend a few days together and she can get to know her new brother-in-law (to be)! Man oh man, first times on a plane can be so scary, she texted me this morning that she was nervous. I don't blame her. And the #1 question I'm getting lately is, "Are YOU nervous, Sarah?" Well, yeah. Okay, sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm not. It really depends on when you ask me. Am I nervous about EVERYTHING going correctly and everyone getting along peacefully? Yes. Am I nervous to have ALL those people looking at me, even though I've ALWAYS LOVED being the center of attention and still do? Yes! Am I nervous about getting married--not really. As of yesterday, we've lived together for a year and a half, and also as of yesterday, we have been engaged for 17 months!!! We're coming up on two and a half years together total...so no, I'm not really nervous about being married---perhaps the GETTING married part a tiny bit....but mostly, I'm just EXCITED!!! I'm honestly BEYOND EXCITED to get married! I kind of like can't wait! I'm ready for it, I feel like this is the phase of my life that's supposed to be next, it fits, it makes sense! We've worked for it, we've worked at it, and will continue to for the rest of our lives! And mostly, I'm just EXCITED! Never more so in my life--trulyk! And I'm REALLY excited about our HONEYMOON!!! Oh, we need a vacation, there's a darn good reason why couples go on a honeymoon after a wedding--it's exhausting! Man! Anyway, and I'm excited to marry my love! My best friend! And I'm BEYOND EXCITED, literally cannot even put into words how excited I am to SEE EVERYONE THIS WEEK!!! :) My two best girlfriends, ALL Of my sisters, my DAD, my GRANDMA & GRANDPA! Man, I CANNOT WAIT! THAT is THE MOST EXCITING and HUMBLING part of this all; that everyone is coming out for US!!! It's simply amazing! And I mean that in every sense of the word! But, also, I'm a little sad too. I'll be honest. I'm not quite sure exactly what it is I'm supposed to feel this week. I'm SO ridiculously HAPPY! That's for sure! I find myself crying tears of joy and happiness and bewilderment that my life has turned out this fantastic and blessed! And I'm happy that I'm marrying my Colin and that we've made it this far and have come through all we have! I'm HAPPY that my family and friends are loving and supporting both me and Colin and coming together to show that! The hint of sadness, I think, comes from the fact that marriage DOES change so much! Yes, we've lived together, yes we've been together.....but if I'm getting married that MUST mean I'm REALLY NOT a little girl anymore and I MUST be getting older...and my parents must be getting older too! And that's weird. Granted, I've not been a little girl in a very long time, but there's something real sobering about getting married--at least for me--it makes you think about life as a whole. Your past, present and future. I'm not scared of it, per se', I'm excited and happy....and GLAD that I'm not a little girl anymore--thank GOD! Once was enough! But, still...it's a little bit of everything! Mostly happiness, TONS of gratitude, extreme humbleness, stunned bewilderment at how happy & blessed I am, and a tinge of sadness. So, there you have it! Right now, I'm going to make one last sweep of my house and make sure everything is perfect for my sister! I can't wait to see her! I love her so much and I'm so thrilled that she's coming to stay with us! Yay! And on Wednesday, Miss Tessa comes to us!!! YAY! :) TOMORROW.,...I get to go pick up my truly beautiful, gorgeous wedding dress! THAT I'm totally excited about! And Colin, my dear, sweet fiancee' of a man, Colin! My love, my partner, my friend....it's truly an honor to be marrying him and that IS the MOST happy/thrilling part of this all!!!! Someone wants to marry me, and WILL...on Saturday!!! YAY! I'm getting married Saturday!!! WOW! Yikes! 5 days and I'll be a very married lady! Wish us luck! Thank you Lord for it ALL....every single person, place, thing and experience that has brought us to this moment in our lives...and every person, place and thing sharing this experience with us, and for each other too! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Happy Wedding Week to me and Colin, here we go...God Bless Us Everyone!!!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)