Happy Sunday--Life is Good Today!

Hello! Happy Sunday to you!

I'm sitting here in my nicely air-conditioned living room with a delicious cup of coffee remincising about my week. It's been good! It's been really good. Nothing super exciting or spectacular happened this past week, but I got to thinking--sometimes, that's the best time of all! Last year was SO up and down for me in pretty much every area of my life--I was either flying higher than ever (wedding, honeymoon, Keith Urban Concert, new job!) or lower than ever (mom's mini-stroke, the car buying fiasco, adjusting to married life, all the job searching BEFORE the job I ended up getting). There was absolutely NO middle ground, at all! This year, I can't say that. I went to two or three weddings last year, not counting my own--I went to 2 concerts--met Billy Dean for the fourth or fifth time, got a brand new car (well, a used one, but brand new for me) and got the job of a lifetime (at least in my eyes!). But if one of those wasn't going on, it was pretty much Suckville: population one--or two, if you count my husband! LOL--He was there too. All I'm saying is that I may not be having as much OUTER fun this year, but I'm having SO much fun INNER fun!

I'm finding myself again, that happy, bright positive girl who WANTS to pop out of bed and soak up life! That girl who can take joy in the smallest of things and be happy regardless. I have never been the kind of person who's content to just sail along with life, and I don't like to coast either--but sometimes, it's the BEST! It's not that my life isn't exciting, it's just that this year (so far) is kind of downtime for me, not necessarily physically, but I made so many outside changes last year that this year I'm settling into them--and so far, I'm kicking butt! I love my job and being married. And that car fiasco turned out to be worth it because I have a totally awesome car (not that that counts in the grand scheme of things, but hey, it's safe and gets me from point A to point B!), and my family is not dying on me this year. Well, mostly. You know, it's pretty peaceful--most days. That doesn't mean my life is perfectly smooth and easy, I still have my moments and I still have down days; but overall, it's pretty nice! I have been to one concert so far this year (Bon Jovi--totally rocked! So much FUN!), celebrated one year of marriage, continued learning about my job and excelling at it! I have a nice balance in my life right now. I don't feel too over extended like I did last year, a lot of that is me simply deciding not to be. I've learned my limits, tested my strengths and I know where I stand now. I know darn well the ways in which I'm willing to change, and the ways that I'm not. I feel more comfortable in my own skin, yes I still have my insecurities (just look at my last post!), but for the most part, I feel like I've crossed some major hurdles, checked off some items on my life list and am just enjoying reaping the benefits of what I've sewn! It's a nice feeling! I still have hurdles, who doesn't? I still have projects I'm working on and goals and dreams I want to achieve. But, for the most part, I really am happy! Do I want MORE? Yes. But a lot of one's happiness in life depends on wanting what you already have, (and I do!) instead of focusing on what you don't have. I can do that again, and I'm proud of that.

As for wants, well, I do want one actual thing imparticular: I really, really, really want a Tinganello Handbag. They're made in Italy and are quite pricey--well, they're not like $400 but they're not $40 either. They average $80--$180, that's a lot of money for me, I've NEVER spent that much on a single item. But I've wanted one for YEARS! I'm not a clothes hound, I don't spend a lot of money on myself, really, I don't. I buy food and I eat as well as I can and as much as I like! That's a blessing, I know! But other than that, I really don't spend money on myself. I often think it's shallow to want expensive things, but I want that darn Tinganello handbag! They're so beautiful and well made and it'd last me forever, and while I may not be a shoe girl, I AM very much a purse girl! I LOVE THEM! It's my vice! I think it's because I'm so tiny that a lot of clothes I love don't end up fitting me, so why bother? Purses? They fit everything--and they fit me ALWAYS! LOL! Anyway, I felt bad that I wanted one because they are so pricey, but then I thought "hey, it's not like you've blown your whole paycheck on anyone thing before and it's not like you would. You CAN want one, Sarah! That's okay!" So, I'm thinking that for my 1 year anniversary at my job (provided I'm still there, which I think/hope I will be!) I will buy myself a Tinganello handbag! That'll be a nice 1 Year Job Anniversary Gift! That's in September, I can start saving now! :) I know how to do that, and I'm willing to! If that doesn't work out, than I'll take up a collection for my 27th Birthday in December, and you know, at 27, a woman deserves a nice handbag! Okay, I just made myself giggle, but seriously! It's okay to want a few things (and yes, actual THINGS) now and then, it's not like I go out and look at stuff everyday and go "oh, I want that!" In all actuality, I have so much crap I don't know what to do with it all, but that's a whole other post! LOL! I'm done rationalizing my Tinganello Hangbag desire, but I do think that putting out there into the Universe can't be a bad thing!

Anyway, in all honesty, I am enjoying my life so much right now! It's not perfect. My father did scare me the other day when he called and said he's been in and out of the hospital six times this past week, I am quite worried about him. But, you know, it's in God's hands and worrying won't help him. I'm going up there at some point this summer (to see him) and I can always, always (and do!) pray for him in the meantime. I did get a little pissed off that I'm dealing with what seem to be seemingly ill parents at such a young age--my Dad's diabetes, brain trouble (not making a joke, sincerely, tumors on his brain at times--mostly last year which added to the suckiness of it!), my mom's TIA's and migraines and arhtiritis, and my Grandma's--well, everything. I found it odd that I'm already dealing with all of that at this young age of 26, but you know what, they're here! They're alive! They're around to worry about and take care of--and for that, I'm very grateful! I love all of my parents so, so much--I would not be where I am or who I am without them and I hope and pray, every single day, that each of them is around for a long, long, long time. But the truth is, their lives are in God's hands, just as everyone's is. Including mine! None of us are immortal, our souls are, but our bodies aren't. Our time here on Earth is short, sometimes, vastly short, and I of all people should know that. I've had 26 years with my parents, and that's a lot more than some people. I don't EVER want them to die, but I have to be realisitic, at SOME point (hopefully not for 20--40 years!), they will. I have to accept that as best I can and just cherrish them (and everyone else in my life) each day--and that has always been something I'm extremely good at! I cherrish the people in my life more than anything else in it! I feel blessed to have such amazing parents (mom, dad, grandma) and I'm even more blessed to be their daughter/grandaughter--it's one of the greatest gifts in my life! I want them around forever, I really do! But, stopping my parents from living, or refraining from living my own life (day to day, I mean) won't keep any of them from dying. Sometimes, I think about being in my 50s and 60s with no parents and it makes me cry just thinking about it. I'll feel lonely and perhaps, even like an orphan. But, that is then, and this is NOW. All we have is NOW. Today, my parents ARE alive and well and healthy--and that is just one of the many reasons life is good today! Anyway, I really hope my dad gets better and they find out what's really wrong with him! I have a lot of respect for him for going through this like he does, and my mom and grandma too--I get my fighting spirit partly from them!

I need to go though, prayers for my Dad, please, they would be so appreciated! In the meantime, more coffee and some housework are in order for me! It's a beautiful sunny Sunday and the weather is gorgeous--time to go enjoy the blessed life I have! Thank You, Lord, for it all!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)