Last Entry as a 26 Year Old & Turning 27: Birthday Eve Excitement & Contentment!

"One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them."
- Virginia Woolf

I completely agree with what Miss Woolf said. This year, I have come sense the fellowship I have with my fellow human beings. I don't know if I've "taken" my place among them, but I've definitely come to understand the necessity of them.

At 26, I'm a lot less judgemental of others, I'm more compassionate. I'm not perfect, but I've recognized the need for others--and in the importance of reaching out to others when you need them. No one wants to be all alone, and no one accomplishes anything totally alone. I know that, and I try and live that every day. That's just one of the many lessons being 26 has taught me!

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
- Jonathan Swift

Boy, ain't that the truth! I honestly have NO PROBLEM getting older. Sure, I'm only in my late 20s, but still. It has never bothered me to add another birthday candle to the birthday cake. Not once. I think it's because I've always been ahead of myself (not that I'm some superior know-it all, because believe me, I'm not). I was constantly told that I have "an old soul," and am "wise beyond my years," even when I was 5 years old. So, to me, getting older is not something I dread, it is a privilege. So many people don't get to have another birthday, and so people do not get to grow old. Grow would be the operative word there--I don't ever want to GET old, but I do want to GROW old. As long as we're growing, we're living. And I sincerely am so grateful for every single birthday I am able to have. The fact that I'm healthy and able to enjoy it all, and the days in between the birthdays--it's a testament to so much--mainly, the Power of God! So, I absolutely concur--I do NOT wish to be a day younger than I am, and I hope I never do!

As you know, this is my last entry as a 26 year old woman, tomorrow, I turn 27--and I am so excited!

But, as it turns out, the age of 26 had one more thing to teach me. I honestly do not know why this has never occurred to me before, but it sure occurred to me tonight: I cannot expect ANYONE to make a Happy Birthday for me.

Just like every day life, my birthday will be what I make it.

Its happiness or success will NOT be dependent on others, for most, it just another day.

I can no more control a person's behavior on my birthday than I can any other day of the year.

Sure, I can hope and pray for a good birthday, I can even feel I deserve it--but, at the end of that birthday (about 24 hours from now), it will have been happy or not, based solely on how I chose to celebrate!

I will not, cannot and am not, going to let certain things ruin it for me. "Nobody's gonna rain on my parade!"

People have tried on my birthday before, not now.

A year ago right now, I was with my Grandma Elizabeth, I'm not now--and that makes me sad. This is my first birthday without her, but I KNOW she'd want me to have a happy one. I KNOW she'd want me to think of the past birthdays I've had with her, rejoice in them and look to future ones to come. And I'm okay today, I really am--I thought I'd be all sad because she's not here, but strangely, I have a peace. It's okay. I think somewhere deep down she knows it's my birthday tomorrow, perhaps that's just wishful thinking on my part, but I don't care. It's my (almost) birthday and I can dream big, right?! I think so!

My 26th Birthday really was one of my best EVER! But it turned out to be a rough year so I guess the quality of one's birthday does not predict the quality of the year ahead! I'm not going to worry about the year ahead tomorrow, though, I'm just going to enjoy the day for what it is and take each moment as it comes--a good philosophy for every day, I believe!

Anyway, I am determined to have a Happy 27th Birthday--I only get to turn 27 once--and if tomorrow is even half as good as last year's birthday., I'll be doing good!

I don't have to lift a finger tomorrow--the house is clean, the food is in the fridge, I've got meals lined up! Oh, it'll be great! A day to relax, enjoy, and do whatever I please! Yay! :)

So, good rid dens 26! Nice knowing you, it was interesting and life-changing and involved a lot of growing! I'll always appreciate the many, many lessons being 26 brought me, but man it feels good to be on the tail end of it! I am both excited and scared at what 27 will bring, but I'll wait patiently to find out and do my best to enjoy each moment of it. Here's to new beginnings and many more Happy, Healthy Birthday's for me!

Someone at work said I was born on Christmas Eve--Eve, and I kind of like that. It's fun! Tonight, though, I'm doing my annual Birthday Eve Bath--where I take a long, hot bubble bath and reflect on the past year. Since I've done PLENTY of that already, I think I'll spend my time in the tub looking FORWARD to all of the terrific things 27 will bring! How lovely! Thanks, mom, by the way, for having me and raising me to appreciate life and the relationships that make it so worth it!

*I wrote the following while sitting at work tonight. It was so slow in there, I had nothing else to do but write. I thought about how excited I was (and am) that tomorrow is my Birthday! Here's what came out:

I am SO excited that tomorrow's MY BIRTHDAY! I mean, really, I haven't felt THIS kind of EXCITEMENT for a Birthday since I turned 21, and even then, it wasn't like this. I ALWAYS get excited for my birthday, do not get me wrong. My birthday is always a huge deal to me, and while that may make me sound conceited, I honestly don't care. The fact that I'm still alive, and survived yet another year, oh my, that is such a reason to celebrate! This year, I just feel this weight off my shoulders, even though the world at large (my own little world and the cosmic universe itself) tried to bog me down, I didn't let it! I am SO READY to say GOOD RID DENS, 26--so glad I don't have to see you again! Actually, 26 has been a really good age--I've done some tremendous growing! I have gotten a self-confidence and a sure, quiet strength about myself that I didn't know I had in me. My friend, Sarah, and I were discussing this just yesterday--with 26, there comes a quiet strength, a resolve and inner-power that you suddenly are able to tap into. It's not that it wasn't there before, it's just that we didn't believe it was. We have been growing for a long time--Sarah, Tessa, Claudia and I are just like that. We're women who love to watch ourselves, and each other, grow. But, for Sarah, Tessa and I--all being 26 this year--we've realized that we've become WOMEN. Most of us have been married or in long-term committed relationships for a long time--but, now we're learning how to navigate them and ourselves. And separate ourselves from our identities and wives, daughters, sisters, friends and employees. I think that's so cool. We're also learning to be more assertive--NOT aggressive, NOT passive--but ASSERTIVE. When I was younger, people would always tell me I was assertive--and I liked that--but now, I'm assertive in a healthy way--because if you do it correctly, and are assertive in the right way--no one gets hurt. It isn't hurtful, it's helpful. I feel like I know how to stand up for myself now, but not in a "Screw You" kind of way--rather, a kind, quiet "This is where I stand, and we can agree to disagree" sort of way. I'm still a spit fire, I'm still stubborn--that'll never change, and quite frankly, I don't want it to. I like that quality about myself, it's kept me alive at times. But, I'm not as mule-headed as I once was, now, at 26, I learned to pick my battles. More over, with everyone around me being sick--I learned to focus on what really matters. I learned how to dig into issues, instead of argue about topics. Very cool! Anyway, I just feel like 27 is going to be good. I'm not sure exactly how or why, but I just know it's going to be good. 26, for me, in my life, was really hard--but I got through it! I lived, I learned, I loved, I managed it all quite well if I do say so myself (and my therapist agrees with me) and now, I'm SO READY to MOVE ON! I think one of the reasons I'm so excited about tomorrow, is because for me, I feel like it will be a RE-BIRTH-Day! You know, like a day where I leave the past in the past, stop talking about it incessantly and look to the future! It will be the day I FULLY EMBRACE another year of life--whatever it may bring (I said it would be good and easier, not perfect and easy)--and settle into a new and different age--with gratitude, solitude and grace! I really cannot ask for me! I owe it ALL to God--through Him ALL things are possible, and through Him, all thing are delivered! I hope I've let Him shine through me this year, and I KNOW He has good things in store for me next year--I hope to let my Light shine even bigger, brighter and better at 27 than I ever have before! I will get more organized, I will write more, I will publish something (or maybe 10 some thing's?), I will continue to make time with my loved ones a priority, and I will continue to love, live and enjoy every day--because none of us guaranteed another one. Not that I think I'm going anywhere, I'm not. I just know that it's important to me to enjoy each day, find some goodness and beauty in it and make the best of it. Not every day is over the top fabulous--but every day is miraculous. And I'm just over the moon that I've had 9,861 so far, and I'm looking forward the next 9,000 too.

Happy 27th Birthday to me, I made it! Yay! Praise God! Thank You for the most fabulous life, amazing people (family, friends & otherwise) and nearly 10,000 days of miracles!

Here's to the next 10,000 days....with You every step of the way! Praise God!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz