Not sure what to call this one!

As it turns out, my computer won't even be able to be looked at until after July 4th, which totally sucks. Of course, I could pay Geek Squad $200 to have them come on the 30th (which reminds me I really need to call & cancel that appointment), but I can't afford that kind of money and even if I could, that's a little steep. Of course, it's a flat rate, but still, I'm going to wait and see if my mom's friend at work can take a look at it for me for free; I'm not cheap, but free is always better, you know! Anyway, I've been kind of depressed lately, and I'm not sure why. I mean, I do know why, but I almost feel guilty about it, I feel like I should be way more excited than I am and I am, but still, I have a lot of life changes going on right now and it's a lot to deal with and take in. I think no matter how wonderful life is and how great change is (cause it's the only constant life) it's still hard to deal with when it finally arrives, even if and when it's something you've wanted for years and years. Not that you know what I'm talking about, but if you're one of my close friends or my boyfriend, then you do! On the upside, today was a better day...I was total bitch on Sunday and yesterday all I wanted to do was sleep and cry...but tdoay I got up and actually cared about how I looked and what I did. I got a tiny bit done, so it wasn't a bad day. The heat right now is scorching, but that's summer--oh well! I'm really looking foward to July 4th, I can't believe it's so close already! Wow! I've always loved the 4th of July, right up there wtih Christmas in my book and this will be mine and Colin's very first July 4th together, so I'm sure it'll be lots of fun! Something in the air on July 4th, always, and it's not just the fireworks, it's just a really great night and makes me proud and grateful to be an American. Despite all that's screwed up about this country now a days, I'm still glad and grateful and blessed to have been born and raised in the U.S. A!!! God Bless America!!! See, I still am somewhat of a Patriot at heart! Anyway, not having a computer at home is driving me abosultely crazy--but hey, I'm reading books and newspapers and re-reading old stacks of magazines, so it's not so horrible I guess. I'm sick of TV already, but the quiet and stillness of reading a book is not that bad either, I mean, at least I know how to read and have the eye sight to do it. I've even been writing some poems (I have to say them into my camera on Video Mode and then write them down by hand later because unlike typing for me, I can't physcially write as fast as I speak or think! Btw, it feels really good to be typing, I'm going pretty fast! I'm at the library and I only have about 45mins left on this computer and still have a lot of email and stuff left to check and do!) Anyhow, writing is nice, I really love it, I still want to do it full time someday, it's so revealing, reflective and fun!!! Not always, but 99% of the time! I'm afraid of losing my true creativity if I do it for a living, but you know, it's not a choice for me, really, it just comes out of me...I have so much to say and think about so much, writing is so natural for me. Anyway, Colin and I are doing alright. We're adjusting to, or rather, I'M adjusting, to new things in our relationship (still not ready to reveal just yet what exactly those new things are), but it's going pretty well. We had a long talk last night and I do feel better today. Anyhow, speaking of long conversations, I spent like two hours on the phone with my sister, Kelsey, on Sunday, and it was so fabulous! I also talked to my good friend Claudia for about an hour last night, and that was great too! As much as I really and truly love my man, I really and truly love my girlfriends too--sisters or otherwise--they're just the best! I have the greatest team of people in my life, when I thought about that today, that's kind of when my depression lifted--it really did. I think EVERYONE gets depressed from time to time, even me, and while I have a very hard time admitting to that, it's normal sometimes too. Life is tough, change is hard...beautiful, miraculous and wonderful, but hard none the less. Oh, and I talked to Tessa (great friend from High School) for a while on Friday to get her opinion and advice and she totally calmed me down and made me feel lots better, like Colin did last night (and Claudia too!). Thanks to every one of you!!! :) You're the best and you make my life so much better! Anyway, talking to Kelsey on Sunday was such a joy, she's such an amazing, mature, kind young woman--17 in so many ways, but it's just great to watch. I guess a part of me is a little envious because I feel I kinda missed out 17, where I was in my life at that point...I honestly feel more like a teenager now, at 23, than I did back then. Oh well. Oh btw, my mom and I had the BEST, most relaxing day on Saturday (when I last wrote!). We watched those movies (Norbit SUCKED, seriously, one of the WORST movies EVER, I'm a bit ashamed of Eddie Murhpy, do not waste your time and money, but Music & Lyrics was really cute!!! Chick flick, yes, but hey, I am a chick and it was fun!), took a dip in the pool after it got dark and had the most fabulous meal. I made some Capresse (tomatoes, mozerella and basil), mom made her awesome hasbrowns and we both made artichokes...it was so totally delicious. There's not much in life I enjoy better or like more than a good meal--a fresh meal...I also ate TONS of fruit in the morning (grapes, peaches, nectarines), went and got a massage (oh HEAVENLY, definately need more of those more often!), and just pigged out all day relaxing with my mom. It was totally wonderful! And I started the morning with Colin, so really, it was honestly one of the best days of my life....great food, wonderful company, relaxing, so cool! Anyway, there's so much more I want to write about but I only have 40 mins and 20 seconds left now, so I really have to go! But, I'll write again ASAP and perhaps post some new poems too! Anyway, thank you Lord for everything forever wonderful in my life and helping me with my depression, and most of all, thank You for placing such truly terriffic people in my life to help also, every single one of them! I love you all and may God Bless each of you everyday! Happy June!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

P.S. I'm wearing all pink today, light pink, I'm very monochromatic, if that's how you spell it! But my skin is clear and I'm really enjoying how cute I look (not my words, everyone else's!) Bye! -SL :)