2 and 1/2 Years Today--Sarah & Colin

Despite the fact that today is a great day in theory, I won't lie--I'm battling the blues. Not because of any particular reason, but just because, well, sometimes life gets overwhelming. I'm not writing this entry from a "writers" point of view and I may end up rambling, but I need to write. Since it's like breathing to me, I especially need to write right now, regardless of what it is I write or how it turns out. So here goes...I'm just going to share my day:

Today is mine and Colin's 2 and 1/2 year anniversary. It was a good day, over all, indeed a good day. Not a great one, we got some unsettling health news for Colin, he's not dying and it's fixable, so that's good. But, still, I never thought I'd be the healthiest person in my life, and right now, I think I am. That's weird to me. I've experienced maybe 1/32nd of what my mother has in the way of being a caregiver and it's stressful and draining, but it is worth it. On days like this though, I am reminded once again of why my mother is my hero! God Bless that woman, I love her so much!

So, my husband, I love him so much too! Colin and I, 2 and 1/2 years today. We had a nice dinner tonight here at home and got a chance to relax. Life is stressful right now, but very blessed, and even though I'm fighting depression right now, I still count myself amongst the luckiest people I know. And I am. It's just tough being an adult sometimes, that's all. I woke up this morning to a beautiful view of the beautiful city I live in. Colin and I got to stay at the Stratosphere last night, we decided we deserved a little get a way, so we had a little 24 hour one--it was really nice. Yesterday, we sat by the pool, in the hot sun, went for a swim and checked out the mutual hotties! Yeah, I know, we're married and all that, but we're not blind. We were pointing them out to each other, asking if we thought he/she was cute? I think that's very cool that we can do that. It was fun. Tonight, he played his video games and I played Scrabble online, my highest scores out of eight games were 569 and 602, not bad at all! I also made dinner tonight, some delicious Lemon Cappelini, or Fettecuini in this case because that's what we had in the pantry! That was enjoyable! My mom came over and made zuchinni cakes and oh Lordy, Lordy were they good! Yum! Colin and I had a great dinner last night, cheap $15 dinner of delicious panini's....also yummy! We had a great time relaxing in that big ole soft King Bed in the hotel room and just having some different surroundings! It was nice to have a break--it wasn't nearly long enough, but it was nice none the less. We won the room, so that was the best part of all! It was fun! I wanted to write something today, but nothing really came to and every time I sat down to write this blog, I got distracted. I feel like there's always something--and there is, and that's not a bad thing and at least I'm not bored anymore. There's many blessings to count right now, the weather is gorgeous and hot, but not sweltering (always a lovely thing, will be sweltering soon enough, it's Vegas), the trees are green and the air smells like summer! It's fun! I'm keeping in touch with my friends on Facebook so that's always good too! I got to talk to my MIL and both grandma's today so that was good! And Colin gave me a really nice big hug yesterday, longer and tighter than usual, so that warmed my heart! Two and a half years today, I can barely believe it. I don't know how, but here we are--still standing; stronger together. Better people for the challanges we've handed one another, grateful for the lessons and chance to grow and loving each other more and more each day! And for that, I'm very grateful! We have a nice home that's air-conditioned, I have fresh water to drink--such a precious thing--truly....and clothes for all weather. I mention that last part because when it's hot outside you have to dress warm inside and I have clothes for both! A very blessed thing! Anyway, it's late--I've done a lot today and dealt with a lot today! And playing Scrabble really kicked my butt. Speaking of kicking my butt, I refuse to let this depression get me, will NOT happen. Tomorrow is another day and today is all we have. No one ever said life would be easy or fair, and in all reality, I have been handed a much fairer hand than most! I am blessed. I have shelter, food, clothing, my own car, the ability to drive, think for myself, the gift of writing, the gift of knowing my God, a husband, a mother, fantastic best friends and a beautiful little gray tabby cat named Nellie! Who is so soft and pretty and such a brat but totally worth it! I have my husband sleeping on the couch next to me, the floor beneath me and my own nice comfy bed to get into. I can also go take a hot shower if I feel like it after I finish this entry, that's always a luxary and a blessing!

So, yes, I am blessed and life is not that bad. That's what I keep telling myself. It seems like I've been battling this depression all week--Tuesday/Wednesday were not great; yesterday was better, this morning was really good--but this afternoon and tonight, it's trying to creep its way back in. I'm not going to let it. I'm going to go with the flow and accept my feelings, but I'm going to keep counting my blessings and being grateful for the small things; they make life so pure and precious! Life is short, it's meant to be enjoyed and being happy doesn't have to mean being okay with everything all the time--I'm still happy. I just have a cloud over me right now, but it'll go away. It always does. I'm battling the blues, so I'm going to sit here and pray for all the others out there who are battling the blues too. Who do not have as much as I have. Who need some more faith and hope and love in their lives. If you have SOME hope, than you're okay. It's if/when I get hopeless that I need to really worry about myself, and I've truthfully not even come close to that yet. So that's fantastic! Hope is so very important, and often times, it's the only thing, and everything, we have! What a comforting, inspiring thought! See, I knew writing would make me think--and more positively too! I'm also going to pray for those who really need to experience peace in their lives. At least I know what that's like. So, I'll pray for them. And I'll pray for me, and my loved ones especially. Strengthening times that these are--we all could use a prayer or two!

So here's to everyone out there who are deep down in the throws of depression, who can't see any ray of hope or light. I can see the light and I do have hope, I always have hope! Happy 2 and 1/2 year anniversary to me and Colin, here's to many more! Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful day, for the good and precious experiences, for another day with my loved ones, for the opportunity to learn, for the faith in You and for the knowledge that like You have said Yourself "this too shall pass." Goodnight!

In Light N' Ever Hopeful Love,
-Sarah Liz :)