A Year Today!!! (Tomorrow too!)

It's official; I have lived with Colin for an entire year today! Well, our first full day of living together is actaully September 1st, but, I moved in a year ago TODAY! We have lived together an entire year! Can we say, YAY GOD! I feel so great, fantastic, accomplished & much, much wiser for it!!! :0

On August 31st, 2007, I made the bold and courageous (although totally noraml and needed) move--literally--out of my mother's home and into my own! And it's been INCREDIBLE! Some days, that incredible is a good one, other days, well, we have to work harder at it! I won't lie.

Learning to live WITH someone and live with yourself while living with someone is one HUGE adjustment! (At least it has been for me.) And it is true; you don't really know someone UNTIL you live with them! That first six months, I'm glad it's long gone! It taught us so much, but I much prefer where are now, today, a year later, with SOME lessons already under our belt! That's not to say that I didn't enjoy parts of that first six months of living together, or that there weren't good times--because there were many of them! And Colin and I loved each other through it all, each and every day, still do and always will! But, the first six months was definately strength & character building, on both our parts! I think the whole first year of living with anyone can be a challange! Kind of like that 'first year of marriage,' you know. I know we're not really, legally married yet, but still, there's something to be said for that old wives tale--no punn intended, honestly!

But I'm so glad we made it to this day! I'm so glad we stuck it out! And I'm so glad it's a year that's over with and moving into the second one!

We had fun, we enjoyed it! We got engaged, had our first holidays in our own home, created new traditions, made time for romance, cooked a lot of fantastic meals and had many great times! But, I think good love is like fine wine, it gets better with age!

Honstly, I had to learn to mellow the heck out, pick my battles and most of all, live and let live--literally. Us women can be so nit-picky and nag-like. And you know what ladies, it really doesn't work. Nagging and bitching at our men doesn't do anything except cause them to feel frustrated, belittled and like childish little boys. And sure, sometimes they totally act that way; but, the important thing to remember here, no matter how tough it may be at certain times is this: they already have mothers. And yes, in some ways, we all want to feel the love & devotion of our parents again (if we were lucky enough to have it in the first place--I was!). And I now believe that there's a reason you have a husband or a wife BEFORE you have a child; beause in some ways, our husband or wife IS our first child. Seriouisly, girls, boys, you know what I mean! It's funny how childish and mature we adults can be, depending on the day or the mood! But, Colin and I, we're both strong and stubborn and like things a certain way. So, we both had to learn to be a little kinder, a little gentler and a little less nit-picky. We both did that, both of us had to learn those things! The truth is, neither of us had done this before; lived with a partner. I'm so glad we didn't. I'm so glad we were each other's first, at least in this respect! I don't ever regret moving in with Colin, I'm so glad we've lived together before we get married, because, now we know exactly what we're in for, and that's a great feeling! Lord knows I'm no "walk in the park" all of the time as my friend, Claudia, puts it. I know I can be a handful and God Bless Colin for sticking it out, sticking around and putting up with me! And vice-versa! What I want to know is, where is our prize?! LOL! JUST KIDDING! Our prize is each other! Our greatest prize and most precious gift is the continuation of our love, strength and life together! I wouldn't trade a moment of this for anything! I've learned more about love, life, myself, Colin, marriage and engagement in the last year than I ever have before! And I'll continue learning, because that's what life is all about, and that's what makes it great! And of course, endlessly interesting! :) My point is, I'm so glad Colin and I took that leap, moved in together and are choosing to marry in spite of our imperfections! Because no one is perfect, and learning to love & accept someone in spite of that; it's so beautiful and mature!

The best part of having our own place is saving on gas to see each other, privacy, learning to date each other again, and having one another to come home too! That's the BEST part, having someone you love to come home too! It makes a house a home, it really does! The other best part is learning to compromise, and trust me, you learn to do a lot of that. A lot of give-and-take. And for us, some days, we give all and take nothing, and other days, it's just the opposite. But that's okay! It works for us!

That's been the biggest lesson for me in all of this: what works for us won't necessarily work for the next couple. And I've said this before, and I mean it every time, but the only two people who know how a relationship really runs/works/is, are the two people in it. That's it. We can guess, assume and encourage, but we just don't know unless we're that person's other half! I've also learned that needing someone isn't such a bad thing. You can't live with someone and NOT need them for some things. You just can't. And that's beauitiful! Like Barbra Streisand sings "people who need people are the luckiest people in the world," and I believe that to be true. Because we all need someone for something! Even if you're completely single and live alone, you still need a friend to talk to, a mama, or even just a mechanic to fix your car when it breaks down. Being independent WHILE living with someone is okay too, and Colin and I have always been very respectful of each other's independence! Thank God! And very honest! We have no problem calling each other out on our mutual crap we attempt to give one another! We're accepting and supportive of one another, but we hold each other up and expect certain things! And that's good! Being accepting of someone's flaws, and putting up with their outright crap are two totally different things, and I think Colin and I are very familiar with the difference! :) Another great thing about living with someone is sharing! I know, I know, I never thought I'd say that! But here I am! And my friend's 3 year old is right; "It's nice to share." (Okay, admittedly, I'm still protective of some things, and don't like sharing EVERYTHING, but I don't think anyone does, Colin either!)

A year ago, my biggest fear was sharing a bedroom, because I'd never done so. But now, oh I love it! We each have our corner and a place for our own stuff and our stuff together! We are home at different times much of the time, so it can feel like our own personal room if/when we want it too! And that's great! So, as it turns out, sharing a bedroom isn't that difficult. It's kind of nice actually!

And I love sleeping next to and waking up with the man I love--each and every morning and night. No matter what: even if we've had a fight that day, I'm nothing but glad and grateful to fall asleep next to the man I love each night. I love that, I absolutely love that, and always will! I used to dream of having someone to sleep next to, I never did like sleeping alone. And now I don't and it's great! Okay, sure, he snores (so do I probably) and between him and our cat, Nellie, sometimes I end up with all of about three inches on that bed, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I really woudln't! I love cooking with him and creating delicious meals in our kitchen! And walking together to the mailbox! I love when he sits and watches TV and I read. I love eating a meal together! I love feeling the pride of a well-kept, clean home! I love working together toward a common goal; whatever that goal is! I love being able to learn the art of compromise and decorate our home the way we want it, and the process of doing so--it's so much fun! I love sharing coffee in the morning and just hanging out together, in OUR house! I love that!

That all being said, no, it's not easy all of the time. Yes, it does get crazy and hectic and stressful! It's real life. And real life gets in the way of romance sometimes! We don't always like sharing things; food, a bathroom, etc. We, like every other couple, debate over who does more and whose turn it is to do what! We're outgrowing that now, though, thank goodness. We don't always enjoy looking at each other's stuff all day, we're both clutter bugs, but we're both improving on that! We have disagreements and arguements and real issues! We're NORMAL, and I love that! It's hard learning to BALANCE a love life, a career, a formal education, household chores, bills, friends, family and everything else that this crazy life throws at you! It's an art-form, learning to balance it all, it really is. It's insanely frustrating at times also, realizing that to gain something, you have to lose something. Letting go of innocense and parts of yourself that you just learned were there. But you can't give yourself up entirely, that's a complete and total no-no! You learn to balance that too; who you are as your own person and who you are as part of this amazing team! And we are a team! And I LOVE being a part of this team! I LOVE having a live-in partner, friend and teammate! It's awesome! And overall, life for us, together and indivusally, is blessed and great!

I can't believe it's been a year, but it has! Like I said, I wouldn't trade a moment of it and I'm looking very foward to the next year, and all the ones after it!

I feel quite accomplished today! Our house is a home, it's beautiful, clean, picked-up and most importantly, full of love! We made it an entire year, and that is an accomplishment. Both of us could've walked away at any time, but we didn't. And there IS something to havnig lived with someone for a whole year; you know them better, you know yourself better, and you're stronger for it! I feel differently about him, myself and us today than I did a year ago. One thing for sure is, I'm not half as scared as I was. And do I know what I was so scared about? Yeah, I do. Because it was scary, moving out! Not knowing what I was doing or how I was going to do it! Moving out (of my mom's), was without a doubt, one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so glad I did!

We made it through our first year, and we did so together, in tact and with flying colors! I'm so proud of us, of him and of me! We've come a long way, and we have a long way to go! But we're doing it; growing together, in love & strength, with patience and grace, and I don't think either of us would have it any other way!

Our life together is great, not perfect or easy, but great! We've got what we want, and more importantly, we want what we've got!

So, thank you, Colin Babe, for loving me, accepting me and putting up with me for a WHOLE year! Here's to many, many, many more crazy, fun-filled, real-life, strength/love building years! Congratulations to us! In just a little over six months, we really will be husband and wife--and for that, I'm really grateful! Thank you for teaching me about love, about myself and sharing this life with me! I love you so much! And thank you, Lord, for this man, this opportunity, this home, this strength, these lessons and most of all, thank you for Love; yours, Colin's, our families and our friends!

In Light N' Love,

-Sarah Liz :)