Wedding Planning!!!

Allow me to vent for a moment, first of all, though, let me assure you, myself and my Colin, that I am HAPPY, EXCITED & nothing but absolutely GRATEFUL for be planning a wedding--especially my own ! A lot of people don't get to do have a wedding, and many women (and men, even) dream for years & years about this day. It's like the ultimate goal for some! And yes, I'm a girly-girl, I've wanted a WEDDING since I was a litle girl. (Even when I went through my phase of not wanting to get married, I still wanted a wedding!)

The problem is, I never realized how much WORK it is! I honestly think I should have passed a math class by now, or maybe two of them even, simply because I've planned a wedding! Serioulsy! There is SO much dang math involved! Addition, subtraction, lots of multipliaction, budgeting, etc, etc, etc....Re-calculating numbers and percentages and taxes and fees, and shipping/handling, and little things you don't even think about until you're there! The list goes on and on and on and on and on!!! Honestly, I think everyone should have to plan a wedding at some point in their lives, even if it's not their own, because doing so teaches one a lot of life skills and definately makes you face math--in a big way! And I'm having a pretty small wedding, 60--65 people at MOST, including me and the groom! :)

I want it that way, though, smaller is better, cheaper & easier! And a lot more intimate for me and our guests. I don't want to be the bride that doesn't say two words to her guests, I want to spend a few minutes with EACH guest, and with a lower number of guests, my chances of donig that, improve! Plus, a lot of our guests are traveling great lengths and, (every guest spends money to get there, even before the gift if they buy one) many of them we've not seen in a while. And I want to EXPERIENCE the day and the time with THEM, too! I don't want to be so caught up in myself or my new husband that I forget that they all showed up for a good reason--that's us! And I want to spend some time with them and revel in the miracle (and it IS a miracle) of getting most everyone we love & adore in the SAME place, at the SAME time!!! Oh, that's going to be AMAZING! How wonderful!

The other part of wedding planning; fielding friends, families and balancing that little thing called REAL LIFE! LOL! Both our parents are divorced, they've all promised to behave and be nice on that day, as to be expected, and I know they will. But like I said, getting EVERYONE we love and adore in the same place at the same time (and me getting MY own parents to walk me down the aisle TOGETHER, THAT was a MIRACLE for sure!!!), definately an accomplishment! Okay, not one person objected to being there, everyone was completely and totally on board with us from day one, and they'll all be there with bells on, I'm sure. It's just that our families and friends are so spread out across the country that it's difficult to get them all together, it's never happened before, and I doubt it'll happen again for a LONG, long time! So, for that reason alone, THAT is why we're NOT eloping and having the actual wedding! It's just a TON of freaking planning! I mean, it's ONE day, ONE day, and the planning for this ONE day is INSANE!!! (And the WEDDING itself is so incredibly pushed on us as a society, it's a billion dollar industry and you'd think that with all that competition, things would be cheaper, but not so much! It's really ridiculous, actually, the amount of MONEY these things cost! And we're doing ours for pretty much dirt cheap!)

Colin and I have great families, on both sides, we're very blessed with that! We have supportive families and families who loved and embraced the other (his of me and mine of him) from day one! So that's great! That makes EVERYTHING a heck of a lot easier, nicer and better! No family wars for this couple--thank God!!!

But, still, keeping family and friends happy, to a point, is sometimes a balancing act. No, you can't please everyone, and at the end of the day, it is OUR day. We've past the point of trying to plesae everyone because it's just not worth it. But, we have so many people who love and support us, which is great, the problem is we don't have the room/money for all of them. I know this guest list is going to be smaller than we'd originally planned, and I just know there's going to be some hurt feelings along the way, because certain people in both our circles won't be getting official invitations....they'll be getting announcements....

That's incredibly sad for me, believe me, but we just can't afford too many people, and when we really stopped and thought about it, we had larger families (even me when you include my dad, step-mom & sisters) than we thought we did. You make that inevitable "A" list, when you prepare a guest list and a "B" list.

Also, bridal parties & groomsmen, seems to be hurt feelings over that too! Again, it was a money move, not a personal 'you don't mean as much to me,' move.

Somedays, I swear I want to just elope! I mean, I live in Las Vegas for goodness sake, the Wedding Capital of the World, it'd be SO easy!

But, then I remember WHY I'm doing this, and I realize that I DO INDEED WANT THE WEDDING!

I do indeed WANT my nearest/dearest loved ones surrounding us on our wedding day! I WANT TO FEEL THAT LOVE & SUPPORT; not just from my new husband, but from our mutual family & friends.

I want the families to be physically present when they merge together. (And it IS a blending of families, it really is--thank God, though, we both lucked out in the in-law section! Yay!).

It's just A LOT of planning, and it's really about a MARRIAGE! In the end, it's NOT about the color of the table cloths, or what flower is on the table or who did or didn't like the food we served; it's about US, our LOVE, and our COMMITMENT!

So, when you look at it that way, sometimes, the endless planning and nitpicking seems a bit overwhelming and rather unimportant!

It's ONE day, ONE day, in our whole lives! I know it's a SPECIAL day, I know it's a day unilke any other. I know it's a day we'll be more than glad & happy to have the memory of! I know it IS important. Committing your life to someone deserves a bit of a party!!! LOL! And, Colin keeps telling me I'll be glad, and I KNOW he's right, that man knows me so well it's amazing! I KNOW I'll be happy I had the wedding, because quite frankly, yeah, we deserve one!

Colin and I have battled so much in our short lives, so far, and no we're not enittled to the world, but we are entitled to a one hell of a big celebration for finding each other and our love! THAT we deserve!

After all, we've gone to weddings together (5, I think, to this day) and now it's OUR turn!

I LOVE going to weddings by the way! I truly do! They're so fun and romantic and great!!! I thoroughly enjoy every one that I attend!

I WANT to give OUR GUESTS a great celebratory experience; I want to give THEM a great wedding with great food, good music and a lot of love that they can FEEL from the minute they arrive! And yes, we both want it to look a certain way. Perhaps if we both weren't so damn picky about that, this planning would be easier! But, alas, it is OUR day and we want it a certain way--and we're entitled to that. We're not losing sight of who is coming or why, but we want our wedding to have a classy, more elegant feel. Not prissy, richy or out of place...relaxed, comfortable, inviting and elegant. With a touch of sophistication and most importantly, LOTS of FLOWERS, the RIGHT color GREEN and FABULOUS FOOD! That's what's most important to me, and to us as a couple!

So, I want our guests to have FUN and ENJOY our wedding, just like we enjoyed the ones we attended! I want our wedding to memorable and special! (Who doesn't, right?)

And I want it to mean something...I guess that's my concern; that with all of the endless planning and tendious tasks involved; that somewhere along the line, it becomes easy to lose site of WHY you're having an actual WEDDING to begin with, and with the REAL REASON for a wedding, is a MARRIAGE!!! And that marriage IS and will always remain, much more important than the wedding DAY! The wedding day is just that, a day; we're commiting ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives, THAT'S what's MOST IMPORTANT here! And who REMEMBERS their wedding day, anyway? Not many brides that I know of. Colin says he's not scared at all...and I'm not scared of BEING married, that fear has totally subsided....but it's the GETTING married that's a bit nervewracking for me. I mean, it's a BIG HUGE commitment, it's the MOST life-changing thing one can do, aside from becoming a parent. So, the actual moments of standing up there, in front of God and everybody, saying those vows, yeah, a little bit nervewracking. BEING married, BEING Mrs. Wolf, not at all a problem, just doing it. Colin did say though that although he's not scared of it, he's sure he'll be NERVOUS the day of. God I hope so, 'cause that would be ODD if I was all nervous and he was totally not. And I WILL be nervous. I'm just gonna say it now! NOT scared, NOT having second thoughts, NOT not wanting to do it; NONE of that; just, nervous. And in the words of my future mother-in-law; 'a nervous like you've never felt before.' And I know she's right, and I'm so glad she's not taking my honesty personally. Thank God!

But seriously, I'm more concerned with planning BEFORE the wedding; you know, the night before, the morning of; my Bridal Shower, the getting ready, the getting THERE.....Colin's more concerned with the honeymoon! LOL! Typical, right!? He cracks me up! But seriously, I want to FEEL a certain way leading up to my actual wedding. That's important to me, and that's the one part I CAN'T plan. That's the one part I won't really know about until I'm there, in that moment, living it. Oh what a feeling, I'm sure! Once I'm THERE and we've done it, it'll be FINE, I KNOW it! It'll be GREAT and FANTASTIC! And honestly, because we've lived together before marriage, I don't know if it'll feel different, after we're married I can't say. Some say it does, some say it doesn't, I'm curious to find out if it'll make a differnce for us. But, we'll just have to wait and see, it'll be interesting either way! And I know that once we ARE married, they'll be a great sense of relief!!! And THAT is why you have a honeymoon now a days...not so much for romantic time together (although that is quite important too!), but after ALL OF THIS...months and months of planning, and budgeting and balancing; you'll be in SERIOUS NEED for a major vacation!!! At least we will be! :) LOL!

But anyway, honestly.....the planning the wedding itself is a bit daunting at times. It's easy to get caught up in the MATERIALNESS of all of it. It's easy to become TOO focused on colors and swatches and what not. It's easy (if you're not careful, that is) to lose sight of WHY you're having a wedding to begin with......

Because of LOVE! And not just OUR love, but the love of our beloved families and friends! In the end, it is OUR day, but for us, we feel it is THEIR day too; especially our parents' day! It's like a great send-off party THEY can have, before they throw us to each other! LOL! It's a celebration of THEIR (our parents) love, devotion and commitment to US, as their children. And their children we will always be. No matter how old or married we may be! It IS a celebration for THEM, just as much as it is for us! And for our friends, it's a FUN excuse to get a way and eat some great food! So I DO KNOW WHY we're having a wedding, and I'm NOT sorry we are! Not at all.

It's just, the wedding planning itself gets to be a little much sometimes, that's all. It's just overwhelming and frustrating and exhausting at times. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced before! And once again, there's a reason you plan a wedding before you get married! THAT'S learning the art of compromise! And we're doing very well with it! Both of us!

It is so much FUN, though, planning a wedding, dreaming and scheming and deciding. it's fun to get to be in control (with most things, you can't control everything, though, I know that), to get to make the decisions (even if they seem endless), to get to know yourself better through the entire process. It's fun to get to know your family/friends better and exactly where you stand with one antoher, that's rather interesting, actually. It's FUN to discover more about your views, values and fiancee'. But, the planning itself, yes, it is work.

I'm a lucky Bride though--for so very many reasons! I have the back-up and support of our mutual family & friends. I have the workings of the Hunters (his cousins) and his mother (okay, mine too!) and our grandmothers, and fathers and my sisters!

Believe me, we're that couple that is having NO problem delegating tasks and jobs to family & friends! NO PROBLEM! If they're willing and able and WANT to, PLEASE, be our guest--literally! LOL! Seriously though, we're getting a lot of help from everyone, and people are seemingly willing to do anything we need, and anything we've asked so far, and THAT has been LOVELY, AMAZING and completely and totally, absolutely very much APPRECIATED!!! I can't even express the GRATITUDE I have in my heart for these amazing folks; and not only do I get HIM for the rest of my life, but I get THEM! That is just AWESOME!!! :) We're very lucky and very blessed!

I just needed to vent and now I feel better! I've caught my second wind and can now return to planning and MORE math! LOL! Iy-yi-yi.....I really should get some college credits for this wedding, though, THAT is my story and I'm sticking to it!!! :)

Thank you Lord for this opportunity, this family, these friends and my groom! Please continue to bless it all! Oh, and please watch over those in the Gulf Coast facing the wrath of Gustav, THEY are MORE important right now and they need Your help, faith, mercy and grace! God Bless them all!

In Light N' Love,

-Sarah Liz :)

P.S. With all of this wedding talk, it's only fair to wish The Quintals a Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary!!! A year ago today, my good friends, The Quintals, got married here in Vegas! And what a wedding it was! Oh, so much fun! So, Happy Anniversary to you both, and thanks for the memorale experience, the fun celebration and all of the inspiration--both wedding & marriage wise! We admire you! And thanks for our Flower Girl too!!! -Sarah :)