Be Careful What You Wish For...

Well, the holidays-or at least Christmas and my birthday-are officially over. There are only 2 days left in 2005 and I gotta say, I'm a little sad to see it go-it's been such an amazing, wonderful, fun, inspiring, insightful and joyful year-not just December 2005, but the WHOLE year! Anyhow, on Monday Dec. 26th I found myself shopping at Wal-Mart buying a few half off xmas items and around the house neccessities-then I went to the little Desert Shores (manmade) Lake near my house. I just love that little lake-it's tiny and totally dirty-but from afar-it's surrouned by Palm Trees, Pine Trees and big beautiful homes. There's always ducks in the pond and geese and usually children chasing the ducks across the lawn that outlines the lake. It's a very peaceful, beautiful place that has a little bridge over it with huge purple mountains on the horizion-it's rather lovely. Anyway, whenever things get a bit sad (saying goodbye to xmas is always sad for me 'cuz I love it so much) or scary-I go to that little lake and just people watch, deep breathe and reflect. Although the water is dirty-from afar, it's quite blue and sparkly. I've been in Vegas for two years and I'm starting to like it. There's a lot of good things about it-where else can you see Palm and Pine trees right next to eachother? Nowhere, I think. There's EVERYTHING here-but also really elceltic people. Tourist watching alone is always great entertainment-and free! There are a lot of things I strongly dislike about this city, but going back home last week to Reno, made me appreciate where I am today. Reno isn't what once was and now that I've lived in LV, Reno feels so small and constricting-I never realized what wasn't there until I lived here! LOL! Anyway, the point is-I was at this little lake the toher day and I found myself wishing for the ability to just stop and rest. I was thinking how nice it would be to sit around the house in my PJ's for like four days-and not have ANYTHING to do-you know, no errands, no cleaning, no cooking, no shopping, no thank you cards to mail out, etc, etc, etc.....apparently, someone up there misinterepted me because at 2:30am the next morning I woke up with an Asmtha attack! I could not breathe, scary, but not too bad-. I took two puffs of Albuterol and went back to bed-well, at 4:30am-that Asthma attack of my life came on-this time, not only could I not breathe, but I couldn't cough, talk or move-it was so damn scary. My mom came in, set up my breathing machine and I took a breathing treatment-I then started to cough up blood-just a tiny bit, not too deep in color-and probably just from my throat (from coughing so much throughout the night). Well, I live with my mother and am not ashamed to say that she made me go back to bed with her because this was now my 2nd asthma attack of the night and she was very worried. She wanted to keep an eye on me. Fair enough. Well, at 7:15am I woke up-very dizzy, with a HUGE headache (migraine) and sort of helter-skeltered my way back to my bed-well, apparently my mom said I fell on my bed horizontially-my eyes rolled back into my head-and my face and lips went totally white. She said I siezed for about 10 seconds-I did black out, I remember her smacking me yelling "SARAH, SARAH," When I came to I still felt dizzy and my head felt like it weight about 90lbs-so mom got dressed, and rushed me to the nearest E.R. I have to say, I've been in A LOT of hosptials, but Mountain View Hosptial in Las Vegas, Nevada is one the BEST hospitals I've ever had to be in!!! We arrived at 8:10am and I was back in a room-with a IV in me and blood drawn by 10:00am-that's DAMN fast in a hospital. They gave me drugs and a breathing treatment and took a chest x-ray. So, then they come in and tell me that I have Pnuemonia and I need to be admitted. "What!?" I did NOT think I was sick-my bigger concern was siezing and my migraine-worst migraine I've had in YEARS-being sick for so much of my life-I am very intuned with my body and I ususally feel things coming-especially pnuemonia's. I was FINE on my birthday/xmas-full of energy-no trouble breathing, not a sign-I'm STILL tryin' to figure out the heck I didn't feel this coming! Well, anyway, so they admit me and I have the COOLEST roomate, Guadelupe-who speaks broken English but is a total HOOT! So much fun, and totally watched out for me! I had GREAT nurses: Karen (British lady-very cool) and Tracy (young RN, new, but cute)-but yesterday morning-my IV comes out. It just stops working. Big suprise! NOT! My viens are just all used up, my body says ENOUGH-no more! Well, since I'm on Medicaid and they can't get an IV back in me (they tried and they tried and they tried and they tried FIVE TIMES), I get sent home. My Doctor, Dr. Michaels, who is just so bright and smart and wonderful-tells me I have to STAY DOWN, REST and not go ANYWHERE for at least THREE days! I'm on HEAVY anti-biotics, with a mirgraine that still comes and goes and am now senteced to my house except for bi-daily visits to see her (the Dr.). I was sitting here today, on my couch, in my PJ's, thinking-you know, when I said I wanted to rest I didn't mean rest because of illness-LOL! OH well, you know it really could be a lot worse-we caught it right at the start of it, I was on IV antibiotics for 24hrs and it'll be good for my body to rest and recoop. I really have been going NON STOP since Thanksgiving and as much as I like to think I'm totally normal and can run with the crowd-I'm not. And that's okay. Really. It's good that I can't do what "normal" people do; work 60hrs. a week, drink a lot, smoke, do drugs-well, actually, no one should do any of those-my mom always preached moderation to me, but still-I don't drink, I don't smoke, I NEVER tried drugs because hell, my body's messed up enough and myself and my mom, and my doctors and of course, GOD, has worked hard enough to get it (my body) to the great working condition it's in-so why would I be stupid enough to disrespect that?! I think that God created us in love and hope and faith-and I think that when we do do drugs and drink excessively and smoke and just have general disregard for our health-it's VERY disrespectful to God and I don't think He likes it. I said to that to my 10 year old sister, Jordan, a few weeks ago and she totally agreed. Actually, she was asking ME if I "partied like other college kids," to which I said a very firm "No!" I'm not saying I NEVER drank an ounce-of course I have, last New Year's Eve I was so damn drunk it was amazing that I woke up the next day-and I've tried different drinks and I've been tempted (but resisted) to do drugs-it's not easy saying no-but it's SO worth it. In fact, my body is SO clean now that I'm a vegetarian and drink no sodas-that yesterday and the day before when the hospital DID give me drugs-I did NOT like it. Sure, it took my pain away-but it made me totally out of it, and I hated that. So, anyhow, it's midnight and I need to sleep-have to be at Dr. Michaels at 7:30am-i, yi, yi-God Bless the woman for takin' me on and God Bless us everyone! I hope your last days of '-05 are going healthier than mine-I'm still happy though-nothin's gonna get me down! LOL! At least I'm at home for New Year's, and not in the hospital-being polked and prodded and woken up every freakin' 20 mins (HOW do people rest in those places? Man!) No really, I am so grateful to be home, to be near my mom who can take care of me like no one else-to be in my bed, in my shower, in my PJ's (those gowns stink!) and other than a pnuemonia-basically pretty healthy! Life is good, and I hope it continues to get better in the coming new year! Happy 2006!

Many Blessings,
-SL