Early Morning!

I've been waking up every day at 5:30am, 6:00am, I don't stay up, I'm just not a morning person. But, instead of waking up and rolling over and going right back to sleep, I've been getting up.

I get up, I open the sliding glass door that opens onto my patio (okay, small porch) and I just soak up the view. It dawned on me the other night that I've never lived in a place where I could just step right outside from my bedroom. It's quite lovely.

I really enjoy getting up first thing in the morning--when it's quiet and surene and just about the only noise are the birds chirping.

I can see the just risen sun through the trees on my left and right, and straight ahead, I see a dozen or so pigeons on the roof of building next to mine. I have a big lush pine tree to my left, on which hundreds of baby pinecones cling. Beneath me, and to my right, I have a clear walkway with green grass and small trees placed sparatically. I have two light posts that are just about to turn off with the light of day and the sky is blue-ish gray. (Yes, I'm slipping into verse, I can't stop myself). The clouds are light and puffy--round like little cotton balls--but they're not too big, and there's not to many. This particular Sunday morning, it smelled like rain, and it was lucious. It's quiet and peaceful and just all around wonderful.

In this moment, in the early morning--everything is right with the world, and so very right in mine. I can focus on my breathing, looking forward to a new day and just take it all in a way that the business of mid-day doesn't allow you to.

Ultimately, I do end up going back to sleep for at least 2 or 3 hours or more--but I'm enjoying this little early morning ritual of mine.

Thank You, Lord, for waking me up early, giving me the peace and enjoyment of early morning and making each morning so grand, beautiful and amazing!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

Guilty Pleasures: motherhood, babies & whatever else it takes to get laughing!

"If motherhood were easy, it wouldn't start with something called labor."

I've heard that quote for years, and occasionally it dawns on me that I'm now the the age where people either start having babies, or have had them. I'm 26, and once in a while, I get "baby-fever," like I want a baby....I just don't want the entire lifetime of parenthood that comes with it.

That being said, I TRULY enjoy listening to stories about motherhood. I have always been fascinated by children, but now, now that I'm the age where I COULD be a mother myself, mothers fascinate me too!

Today, I'm indulging in some "Guilty Pleasures" which for me means trashy reality TV. Now, I know not much of it is actual "reality," and "wasting time" watching such shows does not serve the world in any way shape or form.....

But, my two "guilty pleasure shows" are "Bethany Getting Married," and "Kardashians." I don't watch them religiously, but something about them is just so entertaining.

Anyway, today on "Bethany Getting Married?" it was the episode where Bethany goes into labor and the WHOLE thing were so funny. I'm sorry to laugh at someone Else's misery, but parts of it were just so freaking funny, I had tears coming down my face.

First off, her water broke like a month early--so they were trying to rush around their condo and get stuff ready. They didn't know what to wear, her cell phone hadn't been charged, they didn't have a "birth plan" and she wasn't sure if she needed to wear a bra or not. Then, the assistants had to run out and get a bassinet, a stroller and so on. They were so un-preapred and it was comical; why? Because I think this is how MOST parents feel when they're having their first child. My mother felt that way, (I was six weeks early) and so did one of my friends (whose daughter was four weeks early). We all know that babies all come on their own time and once they do, it's ALL about them! That's for sure!

Anyway, once they got the hospital, Bethany was doing some Yoga Breathing and then said "Thank God I didn't take that stupid class! (Lamaze) It feels like someone is ripping your insides when out with their bare hands, but just Breathe!" You know, I've never been through labor, and probably never will go through that, but that's a good way to put it. I'm all for Lamaze, but it probably does feel like someone is ripping your insides out!

When Bethany was deciding whether or not to have an epidural, she was telling her husband "how do girls in High School give birth in the bathroom stall? Like, how are they not running down the hall screaming bloody murder. Me, screaming like "One Flew Over The CooCoo's Nest" would not be good for anybody."

Oh, good question, I had to laugh.

Then, right after her epidural, Bethany said "Oh, this is fantastic! I'd have quadruplets if they gave me this stuff! I feel like I'm at a bar and I'm nice and it's all good. I still don't understand why everyone doesn't do this?"

Can I just say? Me, neither. I'm sorry, I'm normally very adamantly against drugs of any kind, but let me just tell you, if I was having a baby--oh oh BRING ON THE DRUGS! I'm all for good energy and natural, but it can't be good for the baby if a woman is writhing in pain.

I guess my point is, so many times on TV we see these "perfect" images of child birth. It's funny, it's probably funnier since I'm not the one actually giving birth, but parts of labor and delivery are HILARIOUS!

It's even more hilarious to see two people with NO experience with babies try and have one. Hysterical!

Bethany's assistant, Jason, had to go to the store and pick out some underwear for her. And he says "4 years of college, $40,000 a year and I'm picking out underwear, for women." I mean, that's funny. I don't care who you are, that's funny.

And so true, a lot of really educated people end up doing all the footwork.

So, back to to guilty pleasures--I think I'm a bit ashamed to say I watch these shows because like, how lame is that? I'm an intelligent woman, spiritual and all, and I spend my Sundays watching this stuff?

I've finally come to the conclusion that if the worst thing I do is watch some dumb reality shows, than I'm not doing too badly.

As I said in the last three entries, it's been rough lately, it's getting better and easier, but the one thing I'm keeping is doing ONE nice thing for myself every single day. Today, it's reality TV. It's fun, it makes LAUGH LIKE CRAZY and it makes me feel better than I have a calm, child-free life. Well, I have lots of kids IN my life, but I don't have my own, you know. Anyway, it also makes me glad that I'M NOT on TV, although lately, there's sure been plenty of drama around here--even at times, I've felt like I was LIVING IN A REALITY SHOW or MOVIE! Shoot, I've kept my sense of humor through it all, though, so that's good. I feel great about that!

"You can put your whole life into someone and you never know what's going to happen."

Boy, isn't that the truth? Whether it's a baby, a spouse or whomever, that is SO true! I'm also hearing that it's scary to love someone that much. I totally agree. One of the reasons I don't think I want children, sincerely, is the fear of losing them or screwing them up beyond repair! Oh, to be totally responsible for another human being--the fear. Babies change EVERYTHING--they can take a totally uptight, control freak and mold them into a gentle "nothing matters" type of person. They can take a total party-dude and turn him into a guy who never wants to leave the house because he wants to be with this baby. I think it's just absolutely amazing how babies change the lives of EVERYONE around them. Nothing is ever the same once they arrive.

Babies melt you in a way that nothing else does. At least for me, they do. Babies remind us of what's important in life and just put it all in perspective. Babies aren't as fragile as we think they are, contrary to much popular belief, they don't break that easily. LOL! This is fun....yes, I'm still watching "Bethany Getting Married?" when they bring the baby home. LOL! Newcomers, first-timers, hilarious! What a joy!

Anyway, back to guilty pleasures. I like the Kardashians TV show just because...well, they remind me that my family isn't that nuts after all. Actually, that's not true, family is the greatest blessing in life--and sometimes, the biggest curse! Sorry, but it's true.

My other guilty pleasure is soda, I used to not drink it at all. The other day, it was Grape Soda. Oh it was so delicious. I wrote about the joy of drinking said grape soda and other things, the other day while on a break at work. Here is what I wrote:

The joy of a good ole fashioned Grape Soda! It's often the simplest things that bring the most joy! I try not to drink soda very much anymore, in fact, I've tried to cut back to only one a week. I have a love-hate relationship with soda; I KNOW how bad it is for you, but sometimes, especially in the dog day heat of summer, oh boy, there's just nothing like it! This week, I decided on a Crush Grape Soda. I may have one non-citrus soda per year (I don't drink ANY cola what so ever, I'm a 7-Up, Sprite, Squirt lover), but oh Lordy Lordy is this ever good! YUM!

I also have purple nail polish on today, and thanks to Instant Dry, I was able to put a quick coat on right when I got to work--and I only smudged ONE nail! Yay! I'd rather have smudged nails than chipped nail polish, but that's just me.

I sound old right now, well, not old, but maybe old fashioned--these kids listening to all this rap and crap....oy ve, I'm so blessed to have ears to hear everything, but seriously, I think I'll take my hearing aids out for a while. LOL! I did get a chance to listen so some magnificent Piano (Sounds of Nature type stuff) music before I left the house, while I was getting ready. It was so nice and SO peaceful! There are positively no words to describe how freaking lovely it was to have the house TO MYSELF! I KNEW that alone time would help a lot!

So there you have it, my guilty pleasures involve trashy reality TV, grape soda, girly nail polish and being a young person with a passion for Classical Music!

My mother always told me that guilt is a horrible, man-made emotion and one should never feel guilty for long. Unless of course, you intentionally hurt someone--which I can't say I do a lot of. Okay, I don't do that at all, but anyway.....these it feels kind of good admitting my "guilty" pleasures, I think we all have them. Mine aren't too bad, and right now, spacing out to Reality TV isn't such a bad thing--I miss my Nellie Marie SO MUCH. Last night, around midnight I cried so hard over her, and I woke up all puffy this morning. Ugh! But my hair is gorgeous today! It's long (I got it trimmed last week and it looks/feels so much better, it's lovely!), straight and beautiful! It's okay to cry about missing Nellie, it's normal, and I have meditated since I lost her. I don't "zone out" to Reality TV all day long, but sometimes, it's okay. It's not like I'm totally avoiding my emotions, but I'm also not drowning in them. I'm doing my "15 Minute Rule" where I cry and get emotional for 15 minutes and then I move on. I learned it in therapy years ago and it's a technique I use to this day--obviously.

Anyway, like I said, sometimes, you have to do whatever you have to do to make yourself LAUGH! I'm trying to LAUGH HARD and HEARTILY every single day--and today, watching "Bethany Getting Married?" helped me accomplish that! Like I said, I laughed SO HARD I had tears streaming down my face--and I mean that in the most respectful way.

If "guilty" pleasures make you laugh, make you feel good, allow you to forget the reality of your OWN life for a little while and provide a little escapism; what's so bad about that? I'm not hurting anyone, and you have to have balance in life.

Thank You, Lord, for this glorious Sunday to just chill and be and breathe. For writing, for cooler weather, for beautiful mornings. For plenty of delicious food, a job to feel tired from after working so hard at something I love so much, for family, for Grandma & Grandpa, for the man who took one heck of a chance on me, for writing, typing and 26 years of life so far. Please continue to bless it all!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)