Gorgeous Day Outside!

Today is January 7th, and Colin and I have been married a whole 10 months today! In some ways, I swear it feels like 10 years, and he agrees. But, last night I asked him what was the best part about actually being married--not just being together, but being married, and he said that it was the fact that despite all our crap, we're still here and he still gets to come home to me. I thought that was sweet. I said that the best part of being married is what it has taught me; about life, about myself, and most of all, about my capacity to forgive. It's also introduced me to a not so bright side of myself, but hey, nothing like self-discovery. I think marriage makes you look at yourself harder and deeper because when you married, there's this constant mirror that is held up to you, it's interesting. Anyway, I'm glad we made it 10 months! Yay! Day after tomorrow is his 30th Birthday and I'm looking forward to celebrating it with him, his mom and his grandma! I'm glad I finally talked him into celebrating it, it should be fun! :)

Anyway, on to other things.. I'm writing this entry on my back porch and oh my goodness, it is so absolutely positively gorgeous outside today I can't even describe it! It's not too warm, not too cold, there's the slightest little breeze and the sun is shining bright! It definitely does not feel like January, that's for sure. I took a walk, and I did not want to go back indoors, so I decided to come out here on the porch and blog from this little slice of heaven! I just love days like this, I appreciate all the seasons, in fact, the older I get, the harder it is for me to pick a favorite. I used to say that summer was my favorite, and now I think it's Autumn. But, man, days like this are one of the reasons I continue to live in Vegas--it's just perfect! It's mild with a few scant clouds in the sky and its' just all around lovely! Anyway, that is helping my mood. Because to be honest, with all of the greatness and beauty going on today, there's also some not so great things. For one, my back was hurting so bad when I woke up this morning that I could barely function. And no, I'm not trying to be dramatic or funny. I really dislike complaining, but there was simply no denying the amount of sheer physical pain I was in this morning, Oh my God! My mom was super sweet and massaged my back for me, which hurt when she was doing it (yeah, that's how much pain I was in. Then I broke down and took a pain pill, yes, I have a prescription for them, but it's so damn rare when I take them. Quite frankly, they scare the shit out of me, I've seen way to many people get completely strung out on them, so for me to take one, at all, I have to be in a massive, massive amount of pain. Which I was. Luckily, the pill has kicked in a bit and now I feel a bit better, that and the sunshine, beautiful weather and talking to my grandma and mother-in-law helped! Thanks, ladies!

Anyway, seriously, it's January and I'm sitting here in capris and a tank top! It's just lovely! So back to my seasons--when I was growing up, I LOVED summer--it was by far my very favorite season. Now, I think it's Autumn. But, then again, I've really enjoyed these last two winters. There's something incredibly sweet and romantic about snow falling and cuddling up with a fire, Christmas lights and hot chocolate! (By the way, I make the BEST homemade Hot Chocolate Ever, it was one of those "accidents" in the kitchen one evening and oh Lordy, Lordy, now I can't get enough! Yay!) I also love, love, love sweaters--I've purchased three of them this year--a baby blue one, a hot pink one and a Christmas Green one. I just love them--thin & soft or thick & chunky, there just so comfy! I also like the winter time now because it's cleaner--you don't have to shave everything so darn often (legs, underarms--not that I walk around looking like a gorilla underneath my clothes, because I don't, just saying, it's less upkeep!), you don't have to slather sunscreen on every square inch of your body (because most of it covered by clothing) and you can get by with one shower a day. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I let myself go in the wintertime, it's just cleaner and easier than sweltering in the summertime. That being said, I hate being cold. Yes, I know, I used the word hate, but it's because I do. I totally disdain being cold and unless you're really well covered up in the winter, it's easy to get cold. Duh, right? But, still. Anyway, I love the springtime because it's so mild and lovely here. There's Easter and Mother's Day, two of my very favorite holidays--especially Easter, I actually like it just as much as Christmas! There's all the great fruits and veggies and first blooms of the trees! What I don't like are Springtime Allergies, oh dear Lord, they just suck! But I love green and the change of things coming back to life! So I really do enjoy the Springtime! I absolutely love Autumn now too, because Autums down here in Vegas are just gorgeous! We have the most perfect weather pretty much all of October. It doesn't really get cold down here until around the very end of October, perhaps even into November. I do really miss seeing the leaves change color during Autumn, but I love the whole change of it. The sights, the smells, the sounds. I love the pumpkin spice aromas and candles being able to be lit again, bringing out the sweaters and jeans! I love being able to enjoy all the Autumn fruits and carrots and root vegetables. I adore Thanksgiving and all of that! And I love leaves! Autumn is my favorite season as far as decor goes too! I absolutely LOVE Autumn decorations--leaves, trees, etc....and Fall Fashions--they've always, always been my favorite, I love those! But, I still do like summer. I have to say, I prefer summer in other places besides Vegas. I like summer because even if you're not out of school or off work, it's still got a whole "care-free" vibe to it, and I love that! I have a lot of very important birthdays in the summertime (mom, Claudia, SL, Sarah). I LOVE THE FOOD! EVERYTHING is fresh, in season, ripe and delicious! The cornacopia of fresh fruits & veggies is just awesome, literally, AWESOME! And although I love sweaters and jeans, my favorite thing to wear is probably what I'm wearing right now--capri's and a tank top--or soft cotton t-shrits! I love being able to wear dresses in the summer time, capris, t-shirts. I love going to the beach on a hot, hot day! I absolutely love summer nights--even if they don't ever cool off here in Vegas! I love the that the sun sets later in the day and that the summer mornings are just gorgeous! So, see, I really do like, love and appreciate all four seasons! Some of my best memories from my childhood are during the summer! The last three summers or so, here in Vegas, have been kind of crappy on a personal level. I don't mean bad, just really, really hard times during the summers, so perhaps that's one of the reasons I don't love it as much as I used to, or at least, its' not my number one favorite anymore. And living in Vegas, the summers, sometimes they suck! It's absolutely sweltering, and messy and dirty and you seriously have to take like 2--3 showers a day just to smell descent. You sweat, and sweat and sweat. The makeup has to be reapplied in order to stay looking "fresh,", you have to shave EVERYTHING, every few days, slather that sunscreen EVERYWHERE and of course, you FREEZE all the time indoors because the A/C (God Bless it, though, seriously, we'd all be dead--literally--without it) is turned up so damn high. So I don't like those aspects of it. Summers in California, Oregon and Northern Nevada, I love those! The summers in Vegas aren't bad, they're just very, very intense! So, yeah, needless to say, I think Autumn and Spring are my favorite seasons! There's good and bad to every season, reasons to love it, reasons to not love it. To everything, turn, turn, turn...there is a season, turn, turn, turn......The Byrds' song, remember? It was a little before my time, but it's a great song anyway!

So, I need to go wake my mom up, make the bed and relax a little before work. But I'm really glad that I took the time to write this entry. It's still gorgeous outside, but I don't want to get sunburned. I put on some sunscreen, but still, my body's been covered up for a few months now and it wouldn't take a lot of sun to burn my skin right now.

Anyway, thank you, Lord, for this magnificently glorious day! For the gift of life, and love, marriage, parents, family & friends! For fresh water, a nice bed, the sense (sight, hearing, smell, taste) to enjoy this beautifully weathered day! For children and prayer and miracles! It's all because of You! Thank You for it all, please continue to bless my loved ones (and me) as the new year progresses!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

January 5th, 2010....a few days later!

The post below was originally written on January 5, but I didn't get around to actually posting it on Tuesday, so I saved it and am posting it now. Enjoy!

I found an interesting article online today. It was about 75 things that every man should own. It was interesting. One of them was a weekend duffel bag and below the picture of said weekend duffle bag was what a man was supposed to put in it. As I read the short list (much shorter than a woman's weekend bag for sure) it occurred to me that these items are exactly the things that my husband takes with him when we go away for the weekend. Seriously, except for the cotton blazer (he takes a blazer, just not a cotton one), my husband packs exactly the list below if/when we sneak away for the weekend. (Cotton blazer, khaki shorts, a leather belt, flip flops, white sneakers, swim trunks, a pair of jeans, 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of underwear and a razor). It's kind of creepy, actually, like, where did he learn that? How did he know? Sometimes he forgets the swim trunks, but usually, the contents of this list are exactly what you'd find his weekend get away bag--right down to the flip flops, white sneakers and leather belt. This list gave me a good laugh, that's for sure. The list of 75 things ever man should DO got me thinking. First, it got me thinking about how many of the things on that list Colin has already done, and he's just a few days short of 30 years. How a few of the things on the list would NEVER, ever be put on a WOMAN'S 75 Things To Do list, and then I thought "what exactly should a woman do? What do I think are 75 things a woman should do in life?" The first thing that came to mind is having a broken heart. That sounds sad, I know, and not very positive of me, but it's true. I believe that having a truly broken heart, over a romantic love gone wrong, or never happening at all, should be a requirement for growing up. Okay, usually it is. But, in all reality, I think having a broken heart (or two) is necessary for personal development, in every way--mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I remember reading an article about Sally Field a few years ago (she's always been one of my favorite actresses) and in that article she said that she's never really had her heart broken. I find that sad. Sure, broken hearts totally suck; you think you are (and sometimes want to) going to die. But in my opinion, if you haven't had your heart broken a time or two, than you haven't really lived--and you certainly haven't really loved. I'm not saying I want a lifetime of broken hearts, and it just breaks my own heart when I think of my little sisters experiencing their first broken hearts. But, still, it's something I believe we should all experience. It can change you and teach you so very much. Anyway, I want to work more on my list, but not right now. It's good food for thought though, what every woman should experience. Right now I want to talk a little about what I'm grateful for today: namely dark chocolate and pretzels. There are just certain foods that pair well together; peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter & chocolate (never one of my favorites), popcorn & butter (definitely one of my favorites), coffee & bacon, ham & cheese, peas & carrots...and dark chocolate and pretzels. Oh my goodness, there's just something delectable about them. The earthiness and hint of sweetness from the dark chocolate combined with the saltiness and crunchiness of the pretzel, oh Dear Lord, is fabulous! I'm definitely grateful for that today! That, and my new blue sweater, which is so soft & comfy I want to live in it! One of my favorite pieces of clothing I've ever owned, seriously. I'm also grateful for FINALLY winning a game of Baseball on the Wii yesterday--it took me like 10 times, and I only won by one point, but still, victory was oh so sweet! I really like the Wii, I feel bad saying that because it's so not like to me to LOVE video games and stuff, and the spiritual side of me is going "why on earth are doing that? How is that helping the world, Sarah? How is that contributing in any way to the betterment of society?" And the other side of me is going "you know what, it's just plain fun, I'm not hurting anybody, so who cares!" I'm really, really good at tennis, I lost 3 games today, but still, it's my best game on there! I used to rock at bowling, now, not so much. Oh well! Golf is pretty fun too! I really want to play Tennis and Golf in real life, and I've always liked baseball (I grew up playing it) so it's really cool to improve upon that! I like playing the Wii because you can't do it and something at else at the same time--it takes all of your attention and concentration, it's a total escape. Anyway, I'm also grateful for REAL Parmesan Regiano Cheese--the real kind, the good stuff--imported straight from Italy! OH my goodness! Wow, SUCH a difference, and Kraft has nothing on it, believe me! I'm grateful today for my husband, and for the gift of acceptance and our marriage. Not because it's easy or perfect, but simply because it is. I'm also grateful for my two best girlfriends, who I got to talk to back to back today, so that right there, made it a fantastic day! I'm also really, really grateful for my job, and particularly my bosses who had absolutely NO problem with letting me take the day off on Friday to attend Stephanie's funeral. That I'm really grateful for. I love my job; I'm so blessed to have it! I'm also grateful that I know how to tell time, can type really fast, can read, having running/fresh water to drink and also for hot showers, soap and Vera Wang perfume--oh it smells so good! :) This is a very hard time for Colin's family right now, and for me too, just because of that, but I'm still going to enjoy my life and celebrate it. It's too short not to. I am not supposed to go around saying that, according to my therapist, but too bad. I think there's a good balance between being too forthright and having no tact (perhaps I could use more of that lately when it comes to Colin), but I also am not going to apologize for what I believe in. And I believe in celebrating life, enjoying the day to dayness of it and being as happy as we can, as much as we can. It's not without difficulty or struggle, it's just, why not enjoy it? I'm not sorry for that, and I won't ever be. I went to therapy this morning and came out of there totally irritated, not because my therapist was wrong, but because she was right. Yeah yeah, I can't change anyone but myself, that's fine, I get that, and I can learn to live that, I know it, I just don't often live it (at least not within the walls of my own home), but what pisses me off is why aren't OTHER people working to change as well? Why am I the only one (not really the only one, but let me whine for just a second, please), doing the work to face my shit and improve myself? Just curious. Anyway, enough stinkin' thinkin'....I'm also grateful today that I can see, that I can see art and nature and trees, rocks, flowers, pinecones, colors, sunsets, the ones that I love. I really am so very blessed, thank You Lord for it all!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)