God is @ Work in my life! :)
Lately, I've been pondering some of life's bigger questions: why are we here? What is the REAL religion? Where do we really go when we die? What if I don't.....what if I do....what are the reprocussions of my actions? And while I can't say I've received any answers, I do know this:
God is most definitely at work in my life!
This summer has been inherently stressful--between job hunting, house hunting, and a lot of very close loved ones in my life being very sick. The fact that our lease is up next month and we'll have to move, but don't yet know where to just yet, is also stressful. But looking back on it, summer's have always been stressful for me--even since I was about 8 years old. I've always had a lot of my surgeries in the summer time (though, thank God, none this summer or last), my Grandpa Frank died 15 years ago this month, my mom has had nervous breakdowns in the summer (last summer, my mom and step-dad announced their seperation also in the summer of '94. Crap seems to come with the heat in my life, BUT....
that does not mean that through the storms of life, and regardless of the season, that I am not abundantly blessed!
I've heard that an attitude of gratitude will make the blessings in your life multiply, and I believe that to be true. The more grateful I am for what I have, the more I receive. And it's in the little things...
I have enjoyed the recent revelations, learning new things, figuring stuff out--enjoying the journey!
The little things in my life this past week have been:
*Chatting with my favorite male singer, Billy Dean on Facebook--on July 9th--none the less, the original Billy Day #1! The very same day I met him, in person, 13 years ago when I was 12 years old! What a great experience, and what a dream come true--multiple times over! :) Thanks, Billy!
*Chatting with one of my favorite writers, Alisa Bowman, today, also on Facebook
*Eating delicious Strawberry Pancakes last night while out to dinner with mom last night--we ate @ Blueberry Hill, a local Denny's type place that I'd wanted to try for ages--it was good and worth the wait, I'll definitely go back!
*Catching 2 movies recently @ the movie theater with my husband--actual dates with him, it's great! "The Hangover," and "The Proposal," both good!
*Browsing the Christian Bookstore last night with my mom! Such a peaceful feeling, restful and relaxing! I'll definitely go back! Great time! (Admittedly, I love browsing any bookstore!)
*Finding $5 in my jean pocket yesterday
*My husband going to the store this week so I didn't have to! Yay! Thanks, babe!
*My mom buying me a book I've read and wanted to own for a while "The 5 Love Langauges," by Gary Chapman--it was even better because it was on sale for $5
*Three friends of mine having another birthday this week! Each day, and each birthday, is a gift! Awesome!
*I got to chat on the phone with Tessa & Sarah this week, for about two hours @ one time--fantastic!
*My husband buying fruit on his own, like grapes & strawberries, without my asking!
*My Nellie Marie cat being taken to the vet, being able to pay for it, and having her feel a bit better!
*Clean drinking water
*My long hair
*Finding an organic, paraben free face moisturizer on sale for half off! :) Score!
*The downright AWESOME meditation session I had on Wednesday or Thursday morning! So terrific!
*My grandma feeling better! Thank the Lord!
*Hearing my dad's voice on the phone today
*Really good coffee every morning this week
*Loads of fresh produce last week!
*The mini pizzas I made the other night that were downright delicious!
And so much more! I just can't remember it all! But it's been a great week! I had to make the difficult to stop the job search for now. It just got to be too much. And I think just letting go of the whole stress of that has helped. I DO want to find a job, but after months and months (literally) of trying, I needed to give it a rest! It's just so hard out there right now, even for the seemingly perfect canidates--let alone the people like me without much work experience, no degree and who aren't bilingual. It was just too hard out there, so I'm giving it a rest, I'll come back to it in a little while.
Life is always going to be hard in some way. There's also going to be a struggle of some kind. There's always going to be trials and tribulations. And any age is hard. But that's life. It never freakin' ends...the hard stuff....but life itself does end--all too soon. And that's why it's so important to be grateful for what we have, and who we have, right now, every day, while we have it!
I've discovered a few new things this week:
*Questions aren't a bad thing, they're good. They prove curiosity and willingness to learn!
*The only person who can truly judge us is God
*The only person who can truly tell you what kind of wife I am is my husband. No one else. I used to worry so much about being a "good wife". When I was engaged, I read every "wife" book I could find. I read all the magazines, I still do too. I ask, and I ask and I ask other wives. And I still really want to be a good wife. My marriage is very important to me. I want to have a good, strong, happy marriage. Not just be married. But, everyone is different, and every marriage is different. And the only person who can tell me whether or not I'm being a good wife is my husband. And every husband has different likes/dislikes and ideas of what a good wife should be. And that's cool. I think I am a good wife, for a variety of reasons, but for some reason, this week, I just let it go. I can't worry about being a good wife all the time. It's just not human. I am other things too, and being those things enhance who I am as a wife! :)
*All my life, and especially in the last year, I've heard this line from most everyone I know "that's so deep," or "wow, you're so bright." And you know what, sometimes I am. I impress myself, occasionally. I certainly do NOT know it all, in fact, compared to a lot of people, I know nothing. Life is a process and I'll always be learning (and in some cases, re-learning) new things! Do I have some things figured out? Yes. Am I "wise beyond my years?" in some cases, yes, I am. But do I think I know it all? Absolutely not. And I hope I never do. I think it's true that the more you know, the more you you know don't know. I am deep and I am wise, but I'm also too analytical, impatient at times and downright bratty too, sometimes. But I am starting to believe that maybe I do know something--but what I know is because of the people I surround myself with. I choose to learn from them. I choose to learn from their experiences, and my own. I choose to always look for the lesson, and to think things over--always!
When I chatted with Alisa Bowman today, she said I have a story to tell and that I deserve a happy ending. To which I said "I am living my happy ending, and really, I'm just getting started." She said that was deep and inspirational, and that if I need direction or help with writing it, to let her know. And trust me, I'm going to take her up on that offer when the time comes. She is a fantastic writer--real, honest and funny as heck! I admire her and feel privilaged to have been able to chat with her, and share some of my story as well. I'm glad I inspire people, I hope I do. I'm certainly inspired by them. I'm surrounded by the love of God, and by His presence, grace and miracles. And by surrounding myself in that, that is why my life is the way it is. That is why I am who I am. That and the fact that I also surround myself with great people--people who teach me, and accept me, and love me in spite of my faults. This helps too!
So, yes, God is definitely working in my life! I may not be getting all the answers to all of my questions, but I will in time. Somethings I'm not supposed to know right now, some things I don't want to know and some things I will probably never know. And that's okay. I just wanted to share what's been going on in my life in the last week. It's been pretty terrific!
Thank you, Lord, for it all! I am abundantly grateful and humbled by Your Love, Grace and Mercy! Thank You for all of the miracles in my life, and the hard stuff too--I'm never bored! Please keep the blessings coming and bless all those that I love!
In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)
P.S. Thank you for the determination to get this entry written--it's been in the works since 2pm today. People have called, texted, emailed and chatted. Colin has needed some things, so has my parents...but this entry was laid on my heart to write. And while it may not be the most perfect entry I've ever written, it got done! And for that, I'm very grateful and very proud! God Bless! -SL :)
posted by Sarah at 3:06 PM
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