What a Crazy Two Weeks!

The last two weeks of my life have literally been some of the craziest, hardest, scariest and most intense of my life. It's been a two weeks full of drama, craziness, health scares, car scares, financial scares, learning who I am, re-learning old lessons, living them, hoping, praying and being purely in the moment; whether good or bad. It's not a two weeks I care to do again, mind you, but it has been life changing. And parts of it were good. Things are getting better, calmer and easier. Life is rarely ever easy, but it is what it is and it beats the alternative. At the end of the day, we're ultimately responsible for only ourselves. We can hope and pray and love and help, but the only thing and only person we are truly responsible for, is ourselves. (And your non-adult children, if you have them) The past two weeks have been filled with many blessings and lots of small miracles, and overall, it, well I could say it wasn't that bad, but at certain times, it was THAT bad. LOL! The good parts were: Colin and I talking so much and agreeing on some things, my mom getting all moved in, no one dying, my car being able to be fixed, going to work, hitting mostly green lights on the way to work, no one losing their jobs, dinner last night, lunch out with Colin on Sunday, Colin massaging me nearly every night (cuz he knew I needed it), going to the store last night, my friends being there for me (you know who you are), looking foward to this coming weekend, me not getting sick, my Nellie Marie being so pretty and soft, hanging out twice with my friend, Sarah, sharing food, chit caht and beauty tips, my home being there, having unlimited minutes on my cell phone so I could talk my friends' ears off when I needed them most, my skin clearing up, wearing all my new (hand me downs) clothes to work, finding old CD's and listening to them, my mom doing my laundry, not cutting myself too badly when I dropped a glass bowl in the kitchen on Sunday (darn it!), hot showers, cold showers, the ability and freedom to cry when I needed to, song/poem ideas running around in my head (they always come during times of adversity), passing all my tests/quizzes at work and computers! So, see, I can still count my blessings, because there are so many of them. But, life does suck sometimes, and that's okay too! We're all allowed to vent and complain, TO A POINT, and realize that life is hard and complicated and accept it for what it is, the way it is, do all that we can to change/improve it and MOVE ON! Even during my darkest moments, and on the days where I do think life sucks, I still count my blessings and I'm still incredibly grateful for them! The best part of all of this, Colin and I have kind of fallen in love again, which is great! Engagement/marriage is hard; oftentimes, it just adds to the chaos and complication that life is, but at other times, it's an absolute saving grace and downright miraculous gift! I'm glad my mom, Colin, and I, have all survived these last two weeks and lived to tell about them! It's the scariest thing in the world when someone you love can't breathe, get their head on straight or loses all of their hope, but I guess it's just what makes you appreiate them, and their addition to your life, that much more! Thank you Lord for these last two weeks, for the lessons, the miralces, the fun, the laughter, the strength, the grace and most of all, for the tears and the fears--I've learned from it all! Please keep it calm and peaceful for a while, I'm really doing the best I can, please let others around me see that! Please continue to bless us, watch over us and keep us safe, health(ier) and alive! Protect our home and our families and all of our friends too! Thanks for everything, Lord, You rock!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

P.S. More than ever, and I always knew this, but now I'm LIVING it, if not by force so that I don't lose my mind...but....we HAVE to appreciate who and what we have while we have it. Life is fast and precious and too short and beautiful (in the long run, it really is), to STAY mad, angry, hurt, depressed, repressed and in a funk. It's important to keep the faith and keep hoping on a better tomrorow. After rain, comes the sun; yes, I know that's cliche', but it's true! I'm in a loving kind of mood, I feel loved and strong and inspired; that doesn't mean my life is perfect or suddenly easier; but, it is worth it and full of love! It's a fantastic feeling to know that you're loved, and so necessary. Loving yourself first is important too, 'cuz if you don't, no one else will, that's true too. We may live in a society of cliche's, but you know what, most of them are totally true! LOL! It's important to know who you are in every way you can and live the way YOU want to live, the way you can live with at night. To stand up for yourself, your rights, your principles and sometimes, demand respect from others if you're not getting it. It's okay to piss people off, sometimes, it's better to live honestly with integrity than to live nicely, but be miserable. I've learned that. And choices, they're all around us, and ever-changing, we rarely ever make the "right," choices, but we should make them so that we can live with them and be proud of them. And when we make the wrong choices, we need to learn from them and do better next time. I've always known all of this, but these past two weeks, I've LIVED them. There's a difference; you can KNOW something all you want, and you can know it for a long time, but LIVING it is a different story!

P.S.S. Darius Ruckus from Hootie & The Blowfish has Gone Country now, and he sounds wonderful! H & the B have always been one of my favorite bands from my generation and he sounds great as a country singer--really nails it too! Everyone's gonig country, we really are too cool! :) Listen to his new single, it's my link for today, it's really cool!