PMS Sucks....

Okay, note to my boyfriend, do NOT read this entry! You can if you want to, but all I'm going to do is bitch about women stuff. LOL! So, moving on. If you read my last post, I left myself a comment at the bottom about how I'm actually not ALWAYS happy. Well, today is one of those days. I'm not depressed, and life is still great, the weather is just perfect today (87*) but, you know what, PMS SUCKS!!! Yep, the moodiness, the melancholy-ness, the "I don't care how I look 'cause my face is broke out anyway,", the back ache and 'other' aching things, the cravings and dehydration no matter how much water I drink (which by the way, sometimes I get really tired of drinking so much water, I know I'm blessed to have it, but come on!). The bloating, which I personally don't experience, but still, I hear it's no fun! The 'other' things that happen at this time of the month! Wow. I could go on and on, but I won't. I spare you all the details, if you're a woman, you KNOW and understand what I mean!!! Whew. All I want to do today is veg out and sleep, but I won't. I have things to do.

I know that this 'bad' mood is partly of my own choice, but you know what, sometimes we're all entitled, and even still, I'm sure my PMSing won't last that long. But it makes sense, why women become such bitches around their time of the month. It totally sucks. The upside is, we can make babies. Well, most of us. I don't want babies ANY TIME soon, really, I do NOT, at least a few years before I consider that at all, but still....if I really sat and thought about how miraculous it is that we women get a chance every single month to create a life, that's pretty darn cool. But again, I don't want to create a new life, I'm just fine with the one I've got (my own life) and when that time does come, I'll be much better prepared. Or at least as prepared as one can be to become a parent b/c I don't think anyone is ever prepared for that! LOL! Anyhow, so that's my rant for the day...my one complaint....PMS sucks. Okay, I'm done now. That's over, I just had to get it out there.

Wanna know what my goal is for this week? Other than my ONE complaint per day (and let's face it, NO WOMAN likes PMS, we ALL HATE IT),....my goal for the week is NO NAGGING! I'm going to make a concious effort NOT TO NAG ANYONE. My boyfriend, my mother, myself, anyone. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and I've noticed I've been nagging my bf a lot, it's time to stop. Or at least make a concerted effort to curb the nagging. He's got a mother, and I don't need to be everyone's mother. I'm very motherly, which is great, but it's also a hindrence to a happy, healthy and productive romantic relationship. So, I'm going to stop nagging for one week and see what happens. Perhaps if I get off his ass about every little thing (kiss me more, we need this, you have to do that, etc, etc, etc), he'll be more apt to be a little nicer. Well, he's not been mean lately, not at all, but my point is: What you get is what you give out. I've noticed him pulling away a little bit lately and that really bothers me. Then I thought about it and thought "what can I do to improve this? or change it?" You know, the whole, 'put yourself in their shooes/empathy thing?' It's really rather simple........
STOP NAGGING SARAH!!! Nagging doesn't help anything. Yes, he DOES NEED a vacum in his home. EVERYONE NEEDS A VACUM IN THEIR HOME! I'm really, really frustrated that he won't just go get one--I mean, his mom/grandma are coming to town in two weeks and staying there! Mom (Jerri) knows I spend half my time there and I feel it's a reflection on me (to a point) if his place hasn't been vacumed in forever. That last time it was vacumed was in Dec.---ewww, that's just gross. But, you know what, he's a big boy. He's a man and no matter how much time I spend there...it is still HIS place. Not mine. I call it my 2nd home, which is great, truly, I love that, and for the most part, he keeps it very clean (for a guy). He'll cook any time I ask, do the laundry (which I refuse to do--mine or anyone else's) and clean. Except the bathroom, that's my forte'. But anyway, my conclusion is this: Yes, he should go buy a vacum for a measley $50/$60, and vacum his place before mom/grandma get there. But, hey, let them see how he really lives. And since it's NOT actually my place, I've nothing to do with the outcome!!! So, okay, that's TWO complaints for today. But, really, I'm done now.

Let me say this: my bf is not a bad housekeeper. He does not live in a pigsty. For a guy, he's very clean. He does laundry all the time, cooks all the time, cleans the kitchen and makes his bed (most of the time, but then again, I don't make mine all the time either--we're adults and we don't have to). He refuses to clean a bathroom, but I refuse to do the laundry. Since we don't actually live together (yet), no harm, no foul. It's HIS place, he can do what HE wants. I love spending time there regardless of if/when he doesn't do a specific household chore. The fact that he DOES cook/clean so often, and does the laundry (did I mention I don't?), SUCH a TURN-ON! It is so sexy to see a man clean, I think every woman would agree with me on that one!

I love, love, love the fact that he's a great, able/willing cook, and knows how to grocery shop and organize (I could SO use help in that area myself, although I am getting better at it, I must say). He's a wonderful man with a great heart and lots of good qualities. Loyal, generous, loving, affectionate, kind, great listener, funny and extremely romantic. My bitching about the vacum thing (or lack there of) does not mean I think less of him. Because I don't. I'm so lucky to have him in my life, and heck, in the grand scheme of things, the absence of a vacum means we might have more time together because the time is not spend vacuming! LOL! I am so my mother's daughter sometimes, wow, when it comes to cleaning, I'm really becoming Linda (my mother), and it's scary. But you know, I'll always have a clean house. I just can't clean the whole house at once. I have to do it little by little. Part of the bathroom one day, another part the next. THe bedroom one day, the living room the next. Too many chemicals affect my lungs--that's why I have to clean the bathroom in sections, a little bit each day. I can't vacum a lot, it hurts my back. But, you know what, that's why I clean a little, every few days. Because little by little, it does get done.

As I said before, I refuse to do laundry. My mother's nickname is the Tidelady and it's true. NO ONE does laundry like her. Man oh man, that woman is a laundry saint. I love clean clothes, but I hate laundry. If my mother didn't do my laundry, I'd take it to a Fluff N' Fold, I really would. Good thing my bf WILL do laundry, that's a HUGE plus. I know HOW to do laundry, I just choose not to. It's SUCH a LONG, TEDIOUS PROCESS. Think about it: sort, four piles: darks, whites, lights and delicates. Figure out hot or cold, small/med/heavy load. Sort that all out, LOAD the clothes in the washer. Add the soap. Babysit the damn thing until you hear the 'rinse' cycle, whcih I can never actually hear (being hard of hearing sucks too sometimes), so I have to stand and watch for it. Then, put the fabric softener in (only Downy really, it's the best!), and wait for it to be done. Take the clothes out of the dryer and into the washer, load the dryer, set it. Wait for the clothes to dry. Take them out. Sort them AGAIN, FOLD them and FINALLY put them away! And that's just ONE LOAD! PU-LEASE!!! I have SO many better things to do with my time and energy! Seriously, God knew what He was doing when he sent me a man that's willing to do laundry. LOL! Thank you God!!! :) Okay, so I refuse to do laundry, and my bf won't buy a vacum or clean a bathroom--but you know what, we're still good. At least we know where we stand on household chores, right? I mean, at least we've found common ground and compromise. He cooks WAY more than I do, although I enjoy it a lot, I just prefer to do it in my own kitchen. Or a big one (and I don't have a big one). But you know, I WILL cook--and I'm a fantastic cook at that. I miss it when I don't do it for a whle. My mom/grandma taught me right, and Colin's mom/grandma are great cooks too--so is his Aunt. Colin is also a fantastic cook, we'll never go hunry or hanker for great food, that's for sure!!! I'm very lucky there in that aspect! Of course, this time around, for bf material, cooking was a requirement. At least knowing how, I think it's a life skill and I just got lucky b/c my bf's actually awesome at it!!! :) Thank you, baby!!! I'll cook and clean and I'm terriffic at remembering dates/birthdays, etc. So, see, we're really good for eachother. But you know, no relatinoship is perfect. No one is perfect. I read last night that every relatinoship has about 5--7 unresolevable issues, and I think that's true. It's all about COMMUNICATION, COMPROMISE and RESPECT. I've said that from the begining before I ever had a boyfriend of ANY kind and I still say that today--a few boyfriends later (but not many--thank God!). Colin and I are great at communicating with each other, and we both agreed from the get go that that's what it is all about--real, open, honest communication. We're very honest with one another and I love that. Sometimes we could have a few less comebacks and be a tad bit more tactful in our communication, but hey, we're learning. And I do mean WE, not just him or me. We are both so onry and stubborn to a freakin' fault and both of us always have a comeback for everything, that's not always condusive to ending arguements. LOL! I'm working on it and he is too. But really, we don't argue that often. We really don't. Thank God! He's good for me, I'm good for him. And on days like this, when I'm totally PMSing, he knows that it's just a phase and says "okay," turns the other cheek and lets me carry on and rant and rave. He doesn't get on me for being a bitch (sorry baby), or yell at me when I complain about stupid things. He just lets me be and rides it out. That's really all he can do, though. But, because of all of that, he's a very smart man, indeed. After all, he picked me, right?! LOL! ;) Thank God for him (Colin) and my family and the gorgeous weather today.

I do miss Carla a lot today also, which might be part of it, I so want to call her up and chat, but unfortunately, that'll never happen again, and that's sad. Life goes on. though All the more reason to cherrish this day, if it were my last, I sure as heck wouldn't want to face God knowing I had complained ALL day!!!

So, once again, thank you Lord for everything, please forgive my bitching and help me to remember that "complaining is death, gratitude is life!"! That's so true!!! God Bless us everyone!

In Love & Light,
-Sarah Liz :)

P.S. Happy 45th Birthday to Billy Dean, my favorite guy singer and first crush! I can't believe he's 45, wow, that's still pretty young relatively speaking, but man, time sure flies!!! When I met him in person 12 years ago, he was 34, I was 12. LOL! Happy Birthday to Billy! :) www.billydean.com