I Have Spoons & a Cup of Joe for a Joe!

I feel myself going deeper lately.

I've always been a deeper person, by nature. I've always "light years" ahead of myself maturity wise, most of the time. (Key word, MOST of the time, because believe me, not always). But these past few days, since Monday, I do feel myself going deeper. I feel myself actually living in the moment. Now, I know I say that a lot "we need to live in the moment," and a lot of times, I do. But a lot of times, I don't. I tend to focus on the past and look very forward to things to come--events, dinners, church, holidays, anniversaries, whatever. I have a lot to look forward to, a lot to be forwardly joyful about.

However, yesterday and today, I can honestly say that I lived in the moment. And I am do so right this minute. It's not about what once was or what will be. It's not about looking at pictures of people and judging them for their past behavior, or trying to expect a certain outcome from them, or any situation. It's about living, and being, in the here and now. I can't control the world, sometimes I think I can, and other times I think I'd like to--but in all fairness, I really don't want that job, I mean, I have enough stress as it is.

On Monday I was so dog on tired I could barely see straight. Literally, lifting my arms was a stretch. So I just sat and read. I read a 405 paged book in 24 hours--literally. And it was blissful! It was a fantastic book. I'm not a big fan of fiction, normally, but this was a great book. Anyway, then on Tuesday, I paced myself at work.

I just did one task at a time, enjoying whatever it was I was doing at the moment. And yesterday, after lunch with Christine, and the conference call with Alisa, I was energized, inspired and felt empowered. And it dawned on me that all I can really do in this life is just take it one day at a time. My husband has been trying to tell me that for the almost three years that I've known him. I used to think he was full of it. But, he's not. Now, I'm all for planning. Don't get me wrong. There's a great need for structure, time management, a budget....and not just a financial one. Budgeting our time, our emotions, which may sound bad, but I don't mean for it too. My point is, we can plan and budget and manage all we want, but in reality, all we are truly guaranteed is this moment, right here, right now.

I feel lighter and brighter. I can't say I'm BEAMING with happiness or that I feel like the MOST positive person right now. I'm kind of at a stand still in my life, in many respects. But at least not with my job! Yay! I've been there a month day! Can you believe it?! I'm so psyched--and so fortunate to have a job, period, and then even more blessed to have one I like so much! But, I digress. I feel like whatever happens in my life, it'll happen. I can do my part, say my peace and pray my butt off, but at the end of the day, it's in God's hands. I certainly play a very active role in the direction of my life, my treatment of others, my actions and even my emotions. But, I cannot sit here and say that X, Y, & Z will happen at A, B and C; because I don't know if it will. And you know what, that's a beautiful thing!

I don't meant to sound careless or melancholy. There is so much in my life that I have to be happy about, grateful and smile about over and over and over again. I really do. My heart overflows with joy when I think about so much in my life! I'm truly blessed. But, not knowing everything, not trying to control everything--yes, it is a beautiful thing!

So, the reason this entry is called "I have spoons," is because that's the first thought I had when I walked into my kitchen this morning. I poured myself a cup of coffee in a very pretty stark white small coffee cup--put it to heat up in the microwave and looked at my stove. Then I looked to the right of my stove and thought, "I have spoons." I have stainless steel spoons, wooden spoons, plastic spoons, big spoons, small spoons, tea spoons, soup spoons. I have a very well equipped kitchen, thank you to all of our wedding guests who were so generous with their gifts back in March! So yes, I have spoons. I have them lined up hanging on the wall, some of them at least. And they look so pretty hanging up there. All in a row, at an angle, it's organized and clean and nice. And I'm proud of that. In all sincerity, I thought to myself "Yes, I have spoons and I'm grateful for them."

I have spoons and coffee and a whole kitchen and food and a lovely home and a comfy bed to sleep in and shelter from the wind. I have a soft pink robe that's keeping me warmer right now and socks to put on my feet. Socks that actually fit correctly and are warm and cozy! I have this blog and the gift of writing and amazing people in my life. I have my eye sight and I can hear and do all of these wonderful things.

And I have spoons. I can stir the pot of my life however I choose. I can choose to put something on the back burner for a while, let it simmer away, or simmer down perhaps, and come back to it later. I don't want to waste time, because time is precious and fleeting; but you know, there's only room for so much in my life at one time. There's only room for so much in any one's life at one time. It's like Alisa said on the phone yesterday, "We all have the same 24 hours," and it's so true. We do. I can choose to crank the heat up on something and give it my fuller attention. I can stir the pot and add some seasonings and spices and see what happens. I am the master of my life. I am the cook, the writer, the creator. Well actually I'm NOT the creator, that is God's job, but still. I can create how I react to the experiences that present themselves in my life. I can look for the lesson in each person, each event, each experience. And I can create my attitude, my outlook and the quality of the person that I am. I want to be more patient, I want to treat others the way I want to be treated, and the way they deserve to be treated. I want to treat everyone as the marvelous creation and child of God that they are too. I want the Presence of God to shine through me. I'm not perfect, I'll make mistakes, shoot, I make 'em every day. But, I have spoons, so I can always stir this pot of life a different way--or at the very least, admire the spoons and their beauty as they hang on my kitchen wall.

The new calmness comes from my getting familiar with an organization called Cup of Joe for a Joe; they provide free coffee from an actual coffee house to soldiers serving overseas. The other night, I sat down on Facebook and read their letters. How tired they are, how hungry they get, how they often go days and days without showering. How they miss their families, how they miss out on family events--birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, first days of school. And I teared up.

It's amazing how one little cup of coffee can change some one's day. And it got me thinking, I love my coffee in the morning--or just in general.

Coffee is such an everyday part of my life, and of most people's lives, and these brave men and women over there, they don't get that. Sure they get the stand in the mud, spoon stands straight up in the cup from the cafeteria coffee--but they rarely get the chance to sit down at a place like Starbucks or Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and RELAX with a cup of coffee.

It made me appreciate my own cup of coffee that much more. It made me appreciate my hot showers and hugging and kissing my loved ones. It made me appreciate being able to pick up the phone whenever I please and talk to anyone I love.

It made me appreciate the sacrifices they're making over there for our freedom over here.

They are so brave, and they are so deserving of every accolade they receive. So, part of my paycheck this week is going towards buying a Cup of Joe for a Joe. It's a little thought, a little gesture, a very simple thing. But, if you think about it, that's what life is about. Small, little, simple things--the here and the now--and having the spoons to stir our coffee with. I have those spoons, and so much more.

Now it's my turn to show my gratitude to a courageous soldier over seas and treat them to a delicious Cup of Joe, something that I get to enjoy every single day--in a free & (mostly) peaceful country--thanks to them! So, God Bless each & everyone of them, and their families! And God Bless America!

That's all for today, thank you, Lord, for everything You have blessed me with. I truly appreciate all of it! Please continue to keep it coming and please continue to bless all those that I hold near & dear and love so very much!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)