I'm A Dork...

Confession time: you all know I have a pretty high level of confidance. Sometimes, I'm even full of myself. Sure, I gladly, and often, give credit where credit is due. We all know I wouldn't be who I am, or how I am, without my faith in God, family and friends. They support and sustain me--all of them--especially God. But I got to thinking that while I give good advice and I'm compassionate and all that--being a Christian also means being HUMBLE. Sometimes, I forget that. So today, I'm going to let you in a little secret.

About half of the time, despite my coming off as totally confidant and outgoing--most days, I think I'm a big dork! I really do! I'm pretty and all, but in some pictures, and some areas of my life, I really am a dork! I'm tiny and tone quiet (voice wise), my purse/shoes rarely (if ever) match, sometimes I have a speech impediment, I'm clumsy, prone to overly repeating myself and extremely forgetful. See, I'm a dork! Yes, I'm tremendously wise and w/ a bit of make up and time to do my hair I can be gorgeous, but most days, I'm a dork.

I have insecurities just like everyone else. Some days, my tiny size bothers me. Other days, it's my voice. I'm pretty much constantly trying to battle one or both. Sure, my tiny stature makes me "cute," (or so I'm told) and my voice makes me "unique" (again, I'm told!)--and most days, I can agree with that--but sometimes, I can't and don't, agree with that at ALL!

My acne (when it flares up) REALLY bothers me and sometimes I feel like ALL people see when they look at me are the zits on my face. (Who has acne and doesn't feel that way?) Luckily, my acne only flares up a few times a month now (can you guess when?) so that's good! I thank God for that EVERY SINGLE DAY! But, even without acne, I have scars--lots of scars. Again, luckily my clothes cover most of them--but in a bathing suit--especially a bikini--they're pretty much all visible. My scars on my head (my only real life @ home legitimate childhood accident scar), my throat and my left wrist--all visible, all the time! Most days, they don't bother me and I don't even notice them. Sometimes, though, they do!

Also, I can get insecure about the way I speak. That speech impediment makes me have to THINK about how I say my "R's" and/or not cutting off my sentences. See--yeah, I can get real insecure about that. Because I'm a dork!

My smile is sometimes dorky too--sure, that's endearing, and overall, I think I have a beautiful smile. But, sometimes, it's totally dorky!

Oh, and I also drop things a lot. I get the dropsies, at least once a week--because I'm a dork!

So, you see, even though I come off as this totally confidant (and usually "together" as I'm told) woman....I can be just as insecure and unsure of myself as anyone else. We ALL have these insecurities, these little negative images of ourselves. And for some of us, fighting them is a constant battle. Fortunately, I was raised by a loving team of parents who made sure that my GOOD points, my smartness, my beauty, my courage and strength--would speak LOUDER! I was given (and still am) a vast support system of loving friends who encourage me and remind me how great I really am. Because we all need that. We all deserve that. Who doesn't think they're a big dork sometimes? The one thing I've NEVER thought though--ever, not once--I've NEVER thought I was dumb. I may be a lot of things, and there's even more things I don't know and do not excel at--but dumb, I am not. Okay, I may not always make the wisest choices (despite my own giving of wise advice), I mess up, I make mistakes. Just like everyone else. I'm far from perfect. But, I am not dumb. I am so lucky that I have never thought that. Am I mathematically challanged when you start talking algebra? Yes! Am I technologically challenged beyond what it takes to check my email, write these blog entries and read other blogs? Sometimes, yes! Do I know a THING about tennis in real life when I'm not playing it on the Wii? Yes! So I absolutely do not know it all. I'm smart enough to know that the more you know, the most you don't know--that is so very true! But I'm not dumb, I'm just a dork--but who isn't on some level?!

I just wanted to share this because I want to remain humble. I can admit my strengths, but I can also admit my weaknesses. I can also admit when I do NOT know something, am not familiar with that, and/or have my down days. I can admit when I'm not doing good, when I'm not ROCKIN' in life and when I feel insecure! I know that God made me just the way He wanted me and our insecurities should never speak louder than our securities, but they are there to keep us humble--and I am!

I'm especially humbly grateful for all the people in my life (every single one of them) who look past my insecurities, who accept my faults and flaws, and who keep me secure in the knowledge that although I'm far from perfect--I am loved anyway! And everyone should be--loved anyway!

Because us dorks are all in this together!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

Some Good Advice

It occurred to me the other day that I tend to give good advice. For someone who's only twenty-six years old, I give really good advice. All my friends ask me for it and now, at work, I even have TEENAGERS asking for my advice. At first, I thought that was odd--like "oh my goodness, I'm not that old, am I really old enough to be dishing out advice. Geeze!" LOL! But, then I realized I have experienced a lot in my twenty-six years and usually, I end up giving good advice. When asked by a 17 year old the other day what my top five pieces of advice for life were, I offered the following:

1.) Stay way from drugs & alcohol, now and always--because NOTHING good EVER comes from them. Even if you're curious, even if you want to (and I understand the wanting too!), DON'T! Nothing will ruin your entire life (love, jobs, family, relationships) faster than drugs and alcohol. A beer every now and then when you're 21 and older is fine, but for the most part, don't even go there!

2.) There is always a lesson in EVERYTHING--ALWAYS be looking for the lesson. Everything happens for a reason, even if we do not understand the reason. Everyone and everything is here to teach you SOMETHING--look for that. The biggest and best lessons won't happen inside a classroom, however, school can spur your mind and passions in tremendous ways!

3.) Sometimes, to find what you want, you need to find out what you DON'T want! It's okay if you don't know what you want. In life, love or anything else--sometimes, we think we know exactly what we want and often, we change our minds. So, sometimes, to find out we DO want, we have to find out what we DON'T want. So, don't sweat the not knowing, it's okay. As long as you're strong enough to develop boundaries and personal standards, if you know what you don't want, eventually what you DO will come along!

4.) ALWAYS, always, always have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE! It will carry you further than any degree, job or accolade. Life is hard, and at times, it totally sucks. But there is ALWAYS someone who has it worse and there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for! Always be thankful for everything you're given--whether it's big or small--and often, it's the smaller things that make the biggest difference!

5.) Learn the difference, NOW, between a need and a want. It will keep you real, honest, genuine, and possibly, keep you out of debt. We all have wants, and we all deserve good things. We can't go through life and get NOTHING that we want, but we also can't go through and get EVERYTHING we want. You can have it all, you just can't have it all at once. So, decide what is truly important to you, what you want more (or the most) and run with it. Learn to treat yourself every now and then, but don't let it become a daily drain on your money. Learning the difference between a need and a want will save you time and money! And try and learn to manage money (if at all possible) now--you'll be heads above the rest!

I thought that was pretty good! Then today, I was on my favorite blog (projecthappilyeverafter.com) and gave some really good advice to a fellow reader. That's when it dawned on me; hey, pretty darn good, Sarah!

That being said, I have tremendously wise people in my own life! I have friends who offer my constant gems of advice, who I can count on in a pinch! I try not to wear them out, or take advantage of them, but they DO offer really good advice! My grandma, especially, gives good advice and my biggest MORALS and VALUES came from my mother. She is the reason I have them. Sometimes, she even comes to me for advice. Speaking of my mother, it's funny--the other day she had to ask me what a "player" was. I laughed and said "do you really not know? Come on, Mom." LOL! I told her and she laughed too. It was pretty funny. She had a nice Mother's Day, I couldn't afford to do anything for her other than get her a card from me and Colin. She liked it through and we both wrote some nice things in it. Then, around 5pm, I decided that I HAD to SOMETHING more, I mean, she's my amazing mother after all and it was MOTHER'S DAY! It used to be like my biggest production of the entire YEAR, but not this year. Anyway, I decided to write her a 1 page hand-written letter telling her how much I appreciate and admire her (she kind of already knows) and more specifically, the values and morals she's given me. She loved the letter, she cried--happy tears, so that's a good sign. That's the great thing about my mom and I--we have our fights, we have our ups and downs, but we know, we know, we know--that we love and respect one another. I know I make her proud, she knows I appreciate her beyond measure. So, that's really good, it's a gift actually!

Anyway, life is good today! The sun is shining, it's beautiful and almost warm (without being too hot) and the hour cuts at work are working out. Less money, but more time. Sometimes time is the better gift, well, I have to keep telling myself that or else I'll FREAK OUT! The truth is, I love my job so much that I enjoyed being there, it's sad to me that I'm not there more often now, but hopefully, in July, at the end of the fiscal year (I never understood 'fiscal' year or why they start/end in July?) the hours will go back up. We'll hope and pray and wait and see! Which is really all that any of us can do every day of life!

The hour cuts are forcing me to take my own advice (have an attitude of gratitude, know and exert the difference between need and want!), which is a good thing!

Thank you, Lord, for giving me what I NEED, and letting me keep the job that I want! Thank You for an amazing mother, wonderful friends and a helpful husband! :) Thank You for time with Grandma, great movies and sunny days! Life is good today!

In Light N' Love,
-Sarah Liz :)

P.S. That blog I was talking about, here's a comment left for me after a comment I had left: "Sarah Liz- unless you are 100 years old you are wise beyond your years." I have been told that more than anything else in my life! And if I am 100, I look spectacular for my age!